Introducing Aiden Thomas

We are finally parents. Aiden arrived on Tuesday 1st June 2010 after a very long labor and emergency c-section. It wasn't the homebirth we had planned, but we definitely gave it our best try.

Below is the detailed birth story.

Labor started just before 1am Monday 31st May (Memorial Day) when I woke up to my waters breaking. We called the midwife to let her know and then tried to go back to sleep. About twenty minutes later the contractions started, immediately coming only 5-8 minutes apart. Both DH and I figured it would be a reasonably short labor at this point. By 2am we were both wide awake, so DH made us some steak for a middle of the night "breakfast." At 3am with the contractions consistently no more than 5 min apart we called our midwife again. She came to the house about twenty minutes later. I continued to labor for the rest of the night.

At 10am our midwife decided to check my progress. We were all surprised to find I was only 2cm dilated and 90% effaced, with the baby at -2 station. This was our first indication that our labor was going to be a lot longer and slower than we had expected. By 3pm dilation had increased to 3-4cm, and the midwife then manually stretched dilation to 5cm. We tried everything we could think of to help progress the labor. I used the tub twice, walked up and down the stairs, walked around the block. Eventually we even tried some homeopathy. By 10pm I eventually reached 8cm dilation, still 90% effaced, and baby at 0 station. Our midwife did notice a change in the baby's position, as the head had turned to a more difficult angle.

At 11pm our midwife let us know that we were close to timing out at home. Legal restrictions meant we could only continue at home after 24 hours from the water breaking if I was already pushing and making progress with pushing. At 1am I was checked again, and there had been no progress since the last check at 10pm. We now had to transfer to the hospital. Our midwife called ahead to get us admitted, and then grabbing just my tooth brush and tooth paste we drove to the hospital.

I have to say at this point that our midwife and her assistant could not have done more for us. They exhausted every resource they had trying to give us the homebirth we had planned. Our midwife also stayed with us at the hospital.

Once we got to the Labor & Delivery department I was admitted straight into a room, and after taking my details I was put on an IV. It took several attempts to get the IV in, but after that i was put on fluids, pitocin, and a mild pain killer was given through the IV too. My second night of labor continued in this way. Then the external contraction monitor was swapped for an internal monitor that would not only measure the contractions, but also there effectiveness. DH, being an engineer watched the output of this, and could see that the contractions were not doing anything. Exhausted, and now in more pain than I could handle because of the pitocin I finally conceded to an epidural. Our midwife finally had to go home at 7am. Once I had the epidural I could finally get some rest. I was put on a catheter too as I now couldn't feel anything below my waist. The nurse would increase the level of pitocin on a regular basis, until they had it at the legal limit.

Just after noon the baby finally started showing some signs of distress. I was still only 8cm dilated, 90% effaced and the baby was stuck at +1 station. Finally there was talk of a c-section to complete the delivery. DH and I already knew by this point that surgery was on the cards. I had not progressed in over 14 hours, even with all the medication. I had now been laboring for over 35 hours. We had to wait a little before we could have the surgery as there was another mother currently having a c-section, so we had to wait until her procedure was over.

Just before 2pm I was taken to the OR. At 2:23pm on Tuesday 1st June Aiden entered our world. We could hear him cry as he was pulled out of my womb. He sounded cross. It seemed like a few minutes before we finally heard the words "Its a boy." It was at this point the reality really hit me. We had a son.

DH went with Aiden to the nursery to be cleaned up and checked over, while I was stitched back up and eventually transferred to recovery. About ten minutes after I got to recovery DH came in with Aiden, and I got my first proper look at him. I tried nursing him, but we were both so tired and drugged that it didn't happen. After an hour in recovery we were transferred to the mother & baby department for our postpartum stay. DH got to room in with Aiden and I for the whole of our stay. This was crucial, especially for the first night as I couldn't get out of bed or pick up Aiden, he had to be placed in my arms. We continued trying to nurse Aiden without any success.

The following day I was finally able to get out of bed, albeit very slowly. Then once I was able to go to the bathroom three times my IV was removed. From that point it got increasingly easier to move around, although I was still on pain meds every four hours.

We were discharged on the Friday. Aiden was being formula fed after failing to latch the entire time we were at the hospital. We rented a breast pump from the hospital for 10 days, so we could work at transitioning Aiden to breastfeeding. I am glad to say that by Saturday morning Aiden was off the formula and feeding from his mummy. He has improved his latch and is thriving now as a breast fed baby.

We've been home just over a week and life is finally beginning to settle into a routine of sorts. We have a wonderfully contented baby. We have survived DH's first week back at work, and the departure of my parents last Monday.

Now the real adventure of parenthood begins.

38 Weeks, Now its all about waiting!

Today sees us 38 weeks pregnant. We turned full term and had our home visit from our midwife last Thursday. After months of being concerned about preterm labor forcing us into a hospital birth I've had a week of knowing that whenever this baby decides to arrive I will be able to stay at home.

As part of our preparation process we had a childbirth class with our midwife, and had a couple of DVD's to watch. This was a wonderful learning process for my darling husband. We then decided as a result of this learning that we are going to try for a water birth at home. The advice of our midwife was to have some trial runs ahead of time. This will then give me positive relaxing memories than I can focus on when it comes to the actual labor. It has also allowed us to figure out how to use our tub in a way that maximises my relaxation ahead of time too. I'm so thankful Rob had the insight to have such a deep tub in the master en-suite.

So far I've had several false starts with contractions. Yesterday they even got to less than five minutes apart for almost an hour before stopping yet again. Then nothing for several hours. It has been this way for almost two weeks, with each time getting just a little more intense than the time before. I know it is just my body gearing up for the real thing, which will happen when the baby is perfectly ready for it to happen. Meanwhile we wait. Wait for labor to start. Wait for our baby to arrive. Wait for our lives to change forever. In waiting we draw closer together and closer to the Lord too.

In Loving Memory of Papa Reid

Earlier today at 9:30am ET (2:30pm local time in Scotland) my last grandparent, Papa Reid, passed away. My Papa had been ill for many years with acute emphysema caused by a lifetime of smoking and working in the foundry of an iron works. He was taken into hospital last Tuesday with multiple organ failure (lungs, kidneys & heart), and the doctors finally stopped treatment on Friday. So today's news was not unexpected. Rob and I were already at Church, setting up for our Sunday School class when my mum called me to let me know. I was fine all through Sunday School, but had a bit of a cry in Church during the worship time.

My Papa has always had a special place in my heart, and I in his. I have so many wonderful memories from childhood of times spent with my Papa. He always brought me and my brother a treat home with him on a Friday evening on his way home from work. There were always loose coins in his pocket for his grandchildren. Later on as I grew into adulthood there were days spent together where he would tell me stories of his younger years, and the wonderful love story between him and my Gran. In the last months before I left Scotland to live in Florida with my wonderful husband, my Papa started to tell me about some of his experiences during World War II. My Papa volunteered at the very beginning of the war in 1939, as an 18 year old, and he saw action on several fronts throughout the entire length of the war until 1945. He never talked about the war, until those last few months we spent together.

He was a colourful man by any description. Born during a difficult time in British history, just a few years after the Great War. He grew up in what would now be considered poverty, leaving school at 14 years old to go out to work. He was a very intelligent man who never had the opportunity to further his education, but those were the times in which he was raised. As already mentioned he saw action for the entire length of WWII. He came back home after the war to work in the iron works, where he worked until he turned 65, when he then retired. He was a heavy drinker in his younger years, but by the time I came along he had calmed down and in later years would drink much less. My Gran was the love of his life, that he said goodbye to when he became a widower nearly 11 years ago. He was a very loving grandfather, and great-grandfather. He loved children, and I know he would have loved to meet this child I carry within me. However that was not to be. If this child is a boy, we will use my Papa's name in his honour.

I know I'm mostly rambling. The reality that my Papa is really gone is still sinking in. It has been difficult to be so far away from the rest of my family this past week, and it will be difficult to miss the funeral, but I can't fly transatlantic this far along in my pregnancy. Instead I have to take comfort in knowing that my Papa knew how much I loved him, and I would have been there at his bedside if I could possibly have been.

I love you Papa, and will miss you always.

Thomas Reid, 15th December 1921 - 11th April 2010

Update at last

I know I'm a bad blogger. I DO mean to keep this blog up to date and make regular posts, but somehow life seems to get in my way.

I can hardly believe it is April already and weeks since I last wrote anything. I guess the best place to start in catching up is to let you all know how the baby shower was. I really had not been looking forward to it. I had very mixed emotions, partly because in the back of my mind there is still that little voice reminding me that there is still time for something to go wrong with this pregnancy. A couple of hours before the shower I had an emotional meltdown, which my darling husband handled very well and reassured me that everything would be alright in the end.

It was nice to have three other ladies to share the shower with, all of them seemingly as reluctant as me to be fussed over, so everything was kept low key and none of us were put on the spot.


There was a lovely devotion, a few games and of course food.



We were each given a gift basket related to the devotion, which included some handmade items (my favourite)for our babies. I am glad to say I enjoyed it a lot more than I was expecting to. The biggest surprise however was in how generous the ladies in our Church were to each of us.



In this economy, and with four ladies to split the money between I really didn't expect much, but we each got nearly $300 to use for things we need for our babies.



The following day our Sunday School class surprised us with another smaller baby shower, this time with gifts from the registry I had put together at Walmart to remind myself of what we needed. It was a truly unexpected blessing that has greatly helped us with bedding and clothing along with some other items.




The last month has been a busy time with much of my energy focused on nesting and preparing for the arrival of our baby. I am glad to say we are now almost ready. We got the nursery set up a few weeks ago, and the only thing missing from there now is a chair for nursing. The chair will be the last major item we have left to get.




We were also blessed this past week with the gift of a cradle for our family room. It is a beautiful wooden cradle given to us by a friend who used it for her teenage sons when they were born. She though we might have to replace the bedding as it was very discoloured from many years in the attic. However after stain treating it and washing it with a cup of bleach it all came out as good as new and is now set up in the corner next to me as I type. (Sorry I haven't got around to taking a photo of this yet.)

Rob and I have also had some illness. I started off with an ear infection in my left ear that was so painful Rob took me to the doctor's office to have it looked at. I was given antibiotic ear drops to clear it up, but just as it was getting better it spread to my right ear. At the same time both Rob and I came down with a head cold, which we both think we probably picked up at the doctor's office. Being infected and congested at the same time I have developed hearing loss in my right ear, which still has not completely healed. Usually congestion related hearing loss corrects itself in a few days for me, but I am now in my second week like this and it is still showing no sign of leaving. I am praying both the ear and the congestion will clear up soon, as I wouldn't like to be approaching labour still feeling like this.

Now that most of our preparations are done for the baby's arrival I am finally looking forward to that day, whenever it may be. I will be full-term on May 6 and could deliver any time between then and June 10. That's five weeks of potential labour starting at any time. I know statistically first babies are generally 5-7 days past the estimated due date. This particular baby has already tried to engage three times, eventually coming back up a little, much to my physical relief, as it isn't very comfortable for the baby to be that low down. I have thought for a few weeks now that this little one might come a little early, especially when they seem so eager to get out already, but I know that this baby will be born when they are good and ready and not a day sooner or later.

Anyway I need to end for now as I've still too much to do in preparation for Easter tomorrow.

Guilt free, never fail, Chocolate Cake

As requested on Sunday by some of the ladies in our Sunday School Class this is my guilt free, never fail Chocolate Cake recipe.

Sift together: 1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups of flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
3 heaped tablespoons cocoa

Make 3 wells in the mixture and add in:
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon vinegar
6 teaspoons oil

Pour in 1 cup of water and stir mixture well.

Bake in a 9inch by 9inch cake tin in a moderate oven (Gas 5, 350f, 180c) for 25 minutes.

I like to top with either chocolate water icing or chocolate buttercreme icing.

I've been using this recipe for 17 years and I've never had it fail me yet. I've even used it as the cake base for novelty cakes, including an Elmo cake for my sister's 21st birthday.

This cake is guilt free as it has no dairy products, no butter, no eggs, no chocolate. I have tried substitutes for the sugar but the chemistry that makes this cake so light and moist just doesn't work so well with anything but white sugar. It does make 16 portions so I feel that 1/16 cup of sugar is not really so bad for such a yummy cake.

I did experiment with this cake for a friend who could not eat cocoa. I substituted 6 heaped tablespoons of dessicated coconut for the 3 tablespoons of cocoa, and added just a little less water. It also needs to bake for 40 minutes instead of 25. I like the coconut version topped with lemon water icing, as the lemon flavour goes very nicely with the coconut.

Both versions can also be made up as cupcakes, just reduce the baking time a little.

Baby Showers and Belly Rubs

Today I reached 27 weeks on the 40 week journey that is pregnancy, so today I'm indulging in some baby blogging.

The last few weeks have seen an increase in the frequency of the "are you excited yet?" question from gushing females. All of them react with complete surprise when finding out that I am not yet at the "excited" stage of this pregnancy.

I am by nature more pragmatic than excitable. At this point all I can see is the most enormous to do list lurking before me. I have too many constraints getting in the way of that list to leave any room for excitement.

At the same time I do acknowledge that I have chosen to live in a culture that loves to gush and get emotional over everything. Therefore I am the one who needs to make the adjustment and align myself with the cultural norm I live in. This brings me to the title of my post.

Firstly I'll mention the "belly rubs." While I have started to rub my belly when alone with the baby I was not prepared for other people to walk up to me for the sole purpose of rubbing my pregnant belly. I'm not sure what it is about pregnancy that makes my body public property, but around here that certainly seems to be the case. My baby bump seems to be open access to all and any hands that want to give it a rub. I know that it is a display of affection, so I try not to squirm when it happens. I guess Scots just have a bigger personal space barrier than Americans.

The other big cultural difference for me right now is the "Baby Shower." We don't have these parties back home in Scotland. Babies are celebrated once they have safely arrived. It is in fact seen as "bad luck" to do too much before the arrival is out of the way. One of the ways this can be seen is that the baby's pram (baby carriage) is not fully paid for and brought home until after the baby is born. I guess you could express it as not counting our chickens before the eggs hatch. Here the ladies love to celebrate the pending arrival of the new baby by throwing baby showers for the mom. In many cases it helps the parents-to-be by providing some of the items they need for the new baby. In that regard I can understand how it has become increasingly popular and even essential to many new mothers.

Our church is throwing a baby shower for four of us mothers-to-be on March 6. Because there are four of us all due within weeks of each other it is a joint shower. And because it is a joint shower it is not going to be a gift shower. Instead those attending are giving monetary gifts that will then be split between us four ladies to help us towards things we need for our babies. So they are calling it a "Towards Shower." I'm glad that I won't be the only mother-to-be, as then I won't be the centre of attention, and won't be the only one having their belly rubbed.

It is going to be an afternoon of trying to find a good balance. I am aware that several of the ladies involved have so far been unable to get or stay pregnant. They would give anything to be in my position and be the centre of a baby shower. Still they will come along and celebrate other women's pregnancies and the new lives that grow within us. Yet at the same time I'm going to have to deal with all those hands trying to touch my belly, and fussing over me, and expecting me to be all gushing and excited. That is not going to be all that easy, when I'm uncomfortable from the baby's head wedged into my pelvis, and lacking sleep from constant movement and kicking.

So 8 days and another milestone will be reached, and the baby shower will be over.

A Cold Sore!

This past weekend was a bit manic for my husband and I, but yesterday topped it all off.

On Saturday my darling hubby took his truck to Orlando to get fixed, he didn't get home until late and half way back the truck was worse than ever. So the truck is stuck in our garage and we're operating with only the car.

So my darling husband is doing the school run this week on his way to and from work. he hadn't been at the office long before he got a phone call from the school. One of the boys had been pulled from class because he had a cold sore. Rob explained the transport situation and asked if there was a work around. The school then called back an hour later to say that this same boy was in the office and would not be able to go back to class until he had been cleared by a doctor as not being contagious to the other students. This was a first for both my husband and I. Neither of us had ever heard of a cold sore keeping a child out of school.

However this was not as straight forward as just taking our boy to a doctor. As host parents we are not legal guardians. The boys are not covered on our health insurance, they are foreign students who have to have their own insurance. Of course being minors their parents have all their information and didn't send any copies with them. So Rob got stuck in the school office waiting for mom to fax over copies of health insurance documents and a letter authorising us to agree to medical treatment.

Then there is the ordeal of getting the medical treatment. None of the walk-in clinics take the Bahamian health insurance, so we have to pay for the treatment up front. Several telephone calls to the Bahamas later we get checked in at an Urgent Care center. Even the staff at the Urgent Care center are not sure how some of the paperwork should be completed. An hour later we finally get taken through to a consultation room where more medical history, and basic checks are done. We are moved to another consultation room and wait for another 10 minutes before we see a doctor. He takes one look and tells us that it is indeed a cold sore, offers a prescription and disappears for another 10 minutes. We are then sent back to the reception area to wait for the prescription and letter for the school. Another telephone call to mom and the decision is made to purchase an over the counter cold sore ointment rather than paying for two prescriptions that won't make recovery any quicker.

So my darling husband looses more than half a day at work, the boy looses a day of school and last baseball practice before today's home game, and mom in the Bahamas is out by $140 all for a letter from a doctor that says it is safe to go to school with a cold sore.

After all that my wonderful husband and I looked at each other and said the same thing, "that's another reason to homeschool!"