A peak inside the mind of a full time stay at home wife.
Titus 2:3-5
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
I had no idea when I last blogged that I would end up taking the summer off writing. I haven't even used my handwritten personal journal for the last few months. It seems like I haven't had much to say.
We have all been well. Aiden is potty learning. It is probably the one thing I have least looked forward to. It is going slowly, but our wonderful first born is a boy who will not be rushed into anything. So we follow his lead and look forward to when it is finally over and he actually uses the potty consistently.
After 3 months of being stuck in reverse, Seth figured out how to crawl forwards about a month ago. He is loving his new found freedom and I often have to extract him from under the dinning table. We celebrated Seth's first birthday last Friday and had a party for him the following day.
We are excited to be starting a new adult bible study at church. Rob is the main teacher, with a little co-teaching from me by filling in some of the geeky details I love to revel in and share when I can. We are starting with a 6 month survey of the entire bible, timeline style. Then we will systematically work through the New Testament and later the Old Testament.
Now that "summer" is over and life settles back into the more regular routine I plan to be back blogging more regularly.
Meanwhile here are a few pictures from this summer to enjoy.
I'm taking a break from my staying home series. I will get back to it soon, but for today I wanted to ponder something else.
I recently got a copy of The Way Home by Mary Pride. While I have found it a great encouragement and confirmation that choosing to be a wife and mother is my calling at this stage of my life. I waited a long time to be blessed with this stage, living until the age of 35 as a single woman.
It also has got me thinking at the same time. It has focused much of my previously rambling thoughts about how much our lives and culture are shaped and influenced. Even amongst those who claim the name of Jesus Christ, and who give voice to seeking to live according to God's will there seems to be more of this world than of God influencing life choices.
Before I go further I will openly admit that I am NOT perfect. I haven't got it all figured it. Part of the reason I am writing this post is because I am working on this in my own mind and life right now. Most of my time and energy is poured into my children, as it should be with little ones, and this blog is my creative outlet that helps to keep me from being totally absorbed by the world of toddlers and babies. It is also the creative outlet that prevents me from talking the ears off my wonderful husband every night because I need to express to process.
The Way Home looks at how feminism has undermined biblical womanhood. It doesn't surprise me either. I can remember the conversation I had with the career advisor when I was a teenager. I was asked the question of what I wanted to do when I grew up. My answer did not compute. I said that I wanted to get married and have children. I was asked several times and I always gave the same answer. I was told each time that I must want to be something else, as just being a wife and a mother was such a waste of my talents and abilities. This was about the same time as Mary Pride's book was first published.
I didn't really understand what feminism was back then. All I knew was that what I really wanted to do with my life was to be a wife and a mother. I had always known that was what I wanted to do, what I was created to do. I guess that is part of the reason why I could never make up my mind what kind of career to have. Even after college once I entered the working world I could never settle down to one particular profession. So every few years I would try something new. Yet everything I did do helped to prepare me for the job I will have for the rest of my life. No matter what else happens I will be my husband's wife and my children's mother.
I feel so blessed to be in the position I am in. It was not so long ago that I was trying to accept that I may never be a mother to my own children. As I type this I have two incredible little boys asleep in their cribs for nap time.
Still I come back to how far even the Church has strayed from God's plan for families. Every time people find out that we want more children they act surprised. We already have two, isn't that enough. And this is from the very people we worship beside on Sunday mornings. When people find out that I stay home and we choose to live on a single income we are told that we are very lucky. We are not lucky at all, nor are we wealthy. We have chosen to live without many things that others think are necessities so we can live on a single income. We sacrifice the good so we can have the best, God's best.
God's Word says plainly that wives are to look after the home and bear children, yet even conservative Christian radio stations air programing that assumes wives are also working in full-time jobs outside the home. When couples are preparing for marriage it is not shocking to hear them be advised to wait a few years after marriage before starting a family. They "need" to get to know each other for a few years before they add children, or they "need" to save for a home, or establish their careers, or, or, or. Even in the face of biblical counsel that a newly married couple be freed from civic responsibility in their first year of marriage for the very purpose of starting a family together.
There are also those who say that we cannot teach that wives should stay home, because there are those families who cannot survive financially unless they have two incomes. Until less than a year ago on paper we could not afford for me to stay home, yet we have survived and even flourished on our single income. Living by faith will not always make sense on paper, but it will work in practice when our trust is on the Creator of the Universe.
I don't know what the solution is. I don't know that there is an easy solution to combat compromise. All I know is that God has made clear His will in His Word. We each have to choose day by day and moment by moment to either obey or disobey. I will admit there are moments when I long to rebel and do my own thing, but somehow I come back to the point of obedience in the long run.
I know that obedience is rarely politically correct these days. Our secular culture is so very far away from obedience to God's Word. I know even most Christians will wonder away by compromising with the secular world. Yet there is something so incredible waiting for us. When we wonder and stray God is still waiting with open arms to welcome us back to that path of obedience. He is ready to forgive us when we come before Him with repentance. He desires to show us the way that may be more difficult but that is also more blessed.
I willingly turn my back on the philosophies of feminism, and secular humanism. I don't think either have done me any real favors. How I respond to those who are my sisters in faith but who openly embrace these things I am still working through. Maybe one day people will once again cherish the role of wife and mother, as they did before feminism tainted our culture. Maybe one day this will not be a difficult and misunderstood road to walk along. Until then I will continue to whole heartedly embrace my role, and pray more will join in this blessed and joyful life.
Mythical Sleeping Babies - its all about personality.
My darling husband and I both giggled the first time we heard the term "mythical sleeping babies" as we have been blessed to have two of them. I wish I could share our secrets to this success, but I can honestly say it isn't all about us. Sure there are things we do that have encouraged sleep, and I will share those below. But more importantly it is about their sleep personalities.
Both our boys appear to have their father's sleep personality. They wake up when day breaks. They nap when they get tired. They go to sleep when it gets dark. Rob is 46 and largely still follows this pattern. When he is at home all day (weekends, vacations etc) he will often have a nap in the middle of the day. Most often all Rob has to do is lift his feet off the floor, stretch out on the sofa, close his eyes and yes, he is sound asleep. I rather envy this ability to sleep any time and any place. I on the other hand take a long time to fall asleep, so naps don't happen unless I'm very ill. I will naturally stay up late and then sleep late. I take forever to actually wake up mentally too. My family never speak to me in the morning until I've been awake for at least an hour.
One thing Rob and I share though is that we like our own space when we sleep. We are not one of those couples who can fall asleep snuggled up to each other. When its time to go to sleep we both turn away from the other person and curl up on our own sides of the bed. It turns out that unsurprisingly both our boys are the same way. There was a large part of me that wanted to have snuggly babies. I like the idea of my baby sleeping next to me during the night so I don't have to get out of bed for middle of the night feeds. I also like the idea of night feeding as a benefit to both the baby and me. When Seth was born I tried having him in bed with me. Even as a newly born baby he didn't like the idea as much as I did. Sure he would fall asleep as I nursed him, but to stay asleep for more than 10 minutes he had to be put down, in his own space. I can tell you that having a newborn wake up after only 10 minutes of sleep makes for one very overtired baby (not to mention exhausted parents.) As much as I like the idea, so far with the children we have, co-sleeping has not worked for us.
What I have learned so far that the issue of sleep is different for each of us, both as babies and adults. Like so many of the "rules" of parenting it is never going to be a one size fits all. We are too unique for that. Instead the best success for us has come from parenting each child as best fits their personalities as well as ours. Sleep really is no different.
So what has worked for us:
1. The most important one by far for us has been to not allow them to get overtired. When it does happen it is always a recipe for disaster. My sons don't sleep well when they get this way. They will often wake up after only 20-30 minutes of sleep if they have gotten overtired before going to sleep. The saying "sleep begets sleep" is definitely true in our home.
2. Giving them their own space to sleep in. Just like us, our boys want and need their own space to have a good sleep. While other babies may prefer to sleep snuggled up to mama, in our experience it has been the opposite. I still dream of having a baby who wants me so much that they love to sleep on me, but so far the ones I have prefer some space, and like having their own crib.
3. Being home for most of their time. Just like their mama, these boys are home bodies. They like to be in familiar surroundings to sleep well. They just don't sleep as soundly or for as long when we are anywhere else. They like their own bed for sleep. This is also very true for naps, especially given that they won't nap on me past 8 weeks of age.
4. Routine. They both respond best to a steady routine. While we don't have set times for anything for the most part, we do have a reasonably predictable routine. It starts when the first one wakes up and goes from there. The only day our routine changes is Sunday, when we have church, and they have to change out some of the routine around the time of the church service.
I know many mamas of young children around the same ages as mine. I know from talking with these women that there are as many variations as there are children. Some have children that all have different sleep personalities, and that is probably the most challenging aspect of both parenting and sleep. Some have babies that will catnap all day long, just as long as they are touching their mama. Some have babies that don't nap at all even at 6 months old. Some have babies that awake every hour or two throughout the night. Some babies love to snuggle and nurse to sleep. Some like being rocked or swayed. Some like to just be put down and left alone. The other thing I have learned is that some need more sleep and some need less.
The most important lesson I have learned about sleep from my boys is to do what works for them rather than what I thought I would do before they were born.
I have a feeling this is going to be a lesson I learn over and over again throughout this parenting adventure.
I had no idea when I last wrote back in May that it would be nearly 5 months before I wrote again.
It was a long and very hot summer to be growing a baby inside while looking after a not quite a toddler. The pregnancy this time was much healthier than my previous one, but running around after Aiden every day and trying to prepare him for becoming a big brother didn't leave me much time for my blog.
Summer has past. Hard to believe it really is October already. We are now a family of four, and adjusting to a whole new dynamic. Seth Andrew was born at home September 7th at 1:24am. I'll share the full details of his wonderful birth story in another post soon.
We feel very blessed as a family. We have two wonderful boys only 15 months and 1 week apart in age. We are so happy our baby turned out to be another son. We just know that growing up together will have them be very close friends. Both boys are wonderful sleepers, and already at less than four weeks Seth has a fairly predictable sleeping pattern, and only wakes once during the night to feed, then again early in the morning at about the same time his daddy is getting up for the day. I've even been able to get both boys to take a nap at the same time most mornings, which gives me a bit a time to get some chores done with two hands. I'm very aware how wonderful this is when there is a newborn in the home.
I will try to keep the blog more up to date, although October does promise to be a very busy month for us as a family. I'll share more about that later in the month.
For now here are a few pictures of my wonderful boys.
Since it has been over a month since I last wrote anything here I feel that I should.
This past month has been a busy time in our household, and I just haven't felt inspired to write much. I've even gotten slack with replying to emails from friends. I think in part I'm just in a very introspective place right now, with my sweet baby boy reaching development milestones, and the new baby making their presence constantly known with visible movement in my belly.
Aiden is doing so well right now. He is a sweet and happy as ever. In this last month he has discovered the fun of standing up. He won't pull himself up to stand, but he loves to wriggle down from our knees to stand up. Rob keeps joking about how much Aiden is his father's son. Its all about putting in the least amount of effort to get the same result. After a couple of weeks of standing he is just this week beginning to graduate to a few side shuffle steps to reach toys that are out of reach. I know he is going to be cruising sometime in the next few weeks. Right now we are still working on balance, and I'm trying to teach him how to sit down from standing, and how to pull himself up. That will certainly make life easier on my back, than the constant leaning over I'm having to do right now. I am keen to have Aiden walking before the new baby gets here at the end of the summer, but I also know this smart little boy is going to develop at his own pace, as it suits him.
The pregnancy continues to go well. This new little one is almost as active as their big brother was at this stage. The biggest difference though is that this little one doesn't seem to be showing a preference for any particular position in the womb. Aiden was head down from as early as we could tell his position. This new baby likes to move around a lot more. They did spend a few weeks lying almost exclusively transverse, which did concern me. The last few weeks though have seen an almost constant change in position, with no particular favourite so far. I try to encourage the baby into a head down position, but there is still plenty of time before I actually need to have any real concern about that. I know some babies won't go head down until labour starts, especially after you've already had previous children.
My mind has very much been filled by motherhood and all that it entails recently. I've been meditating on the changing seasons of life. I've always been a writer. It is a huge part of who I am. I've always had a very strong desire to write, and often dreamed of becoming a published author one day. Just recently I've felt that the door to writing has been drawing closed, for this particular season of my life. For the first time ever the constant desire to express myself in written word just has not been there. There is no motivation, no inspiration, no desire to write. Yet I also feel that this is only for this season in my life. Eventually I'll go back to writing. Eventually I will no longer be the mother of small children. The season of my life will change once more.
Right now instead of writing I am sewing. We splurged on a new sewing machine last November and it is finally being used. It has taken up an almost permanent place at one end of our dinning table. So far most of my sewing has been for the new baby. I've made some tie-on cloth diapers and diaper soaker inserts. Then there are the tiny newborn size kimonos from recycled t-shirts Rob was ready to throw out. I even bought some fabric to make muslin swaddles, perfect for the heat of Florida towards the end of summer. I still have more kimonos cut and ready to sew, and I want to get some fitted diapers in newborn size made too. I have even ventured to make silk diaper liners that we can use for both Aiden and the new baby. The silk feels so much nicer against those delicate parts of their bodies.
Once the sewing projects are completed it will be time for the knitting needles. I have found some very cute patterns free online for some wool diaper covers. I also found some very reasonably priced wool online. Using wool covers will be so much nicer that PUL or plastic. I also have a couple of blankets I want to crochet for the baby. I made two for Aiden, and I'd like this new baby to have their own. Aiden loves his blankets. He loves the texture of the crochet and the feel of the yarn. I don't want him to feel like we are taking those blankets away from him to give to the new baby, so I need to make a few more.
I still have a few months before this new baby arrives, so I'm hopeful that will be plenty of time to get all my projects completed. And if the baby arrives while I'm still working on some, then that will be fine too. We have all the basics we need, and then some, from when Aiden was born. The best thing about babies is they don't care what colour they are wearing. They just want to be loved, fed and comfortable. Loved, fed and comfortable we can do even if another thing never got completed.
So sorry for being such a lazy blogger. I can't promise I'll be writing much more frequently in the next few months. I'll try, but life and babies happen, so I'll just have to try my best.
Two days before Christmas 2010 Rob and I received the best kind of blessing. We found out that the Lord had blessed us with another baby. Now that I'm officially out of that first trimester I wanted to share that blessing here on the blog.
Having another child is not the only blessing either. We have also been blessed to find a wonderful home birth midwife who will allow us to try a home birth after cesarean (HBAC) which we are very excited about. After the slow labor and complications of Aiden's birth we were not sure if we would be able to find a midwife who would be comfortable with allowing us to home birth so soon after that surgery. We happen to live in an area that is very hostile to normal vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) and our nearest hospital actually has a ban on such births. It is not only our most local hospital, but all of the five nearest hospitals with maternity services do not allow, or do not encourage a normal birth after a cesarean. This in light of the fact that it is safer to have a VBAC than to have a repeat cesarean. So we are understandably excited that we are being given the opportunity not only to try for a normal birth, but to be able to do so at home.
So far everything has been going well. The first trimester has been trying at times, as I suffer all day nausea and extreme fatigue during my first trimester. Now that I'm entering my second trimester my symptoms are beginning to ease and my energy is slowly returning. Apart from those two particular issues I have to admit that I love being pregnant. It is an amazing thing to know that another human being is growing inside of me.
We also already know that this new baby is going to be such a blessing to their big brother. Aiden is almost 9 months old, and is already showing some of the signs that show he is currently an only child. He is such a sweet child, and we really have been blessed that he is so easy to care for, but there are times when he demands constant attention. This is especially true on a Monday. It is usually impossible for me to do much on a Monday other than play with Aiden. He has had both parents home all weekend to give him unlimited attention, so come Monday morning he doesn't understand why it should be any different. In becoming a big brother he will learn the precious and important lesson that life does not always center on him. He will also eventually have a playmate for those times when Mamma just has to get some chores done. There is going to be about 15 months between these two precious children, so I'm sure they will be great friends as they grow up. There was only 18 months between my big brother and I and as children we were great friends. Rob and his brother also have less than two years between them, and are still very close as friends as well as brothers. How wonderful that Aiden will have that kind of opportunity too.
It truly is a wonderful blessing to trust the Lord with our family, and to be given an opportunity to grow not only our size, but also our hearts.
I recently had a friend over for lunch. She became a stay at home Mom for her teenage girls just a few months ago. However she is struggling with some of the adjustment from working for pay to being home full time. She is struggling with a common problem for women who suddenly stop working outside the home to become a full time wife and Mom, a loss of identity.
I can remember my own Mum telling me about that when I was a young adult. My Mum had always wanted to be a wife and mother. She got married at 20, had my brother just 9 months later, turned 21 the month after that, then had me at 22. She very quickly got busy just looking after two small children and running a home on a very tight budget (I think everyone had a very tight budget back in the 1970's.) Then one day it hit her. She wasn't her anymore. She was her Dad's daughter, her husband's wife, her children's Mum, but never just her. She was no longer known just for being herself. Everyone knew her in relation to someone else. It took my Mum a long time to figure out who she really was after that loss of identity.
I've seen this same thing happen to many friends. For some it is so difficult to overcome that they give up and return to the paid workforce so they can find a sense of accomplishment and identity again. It is only by returning to paid work outside the home that they feel they are still themselves.
After my recent conversation with the friend who is currently dealing with this identity crisis I've been pondering why we as women undermine ourselves in this way. Being a mother is probably the single most important job we could ever do. Being a mother is shaping and influencing part of the next generation, and beyond. It has been said that our personality and core values are shaped for life within the first 7 years. Who we are at 7 is for the most part who we will be as an adult. The single biggest influence in our life in those 7 years is our primary caregiver, historically mothers. It is a role that until recently was held in esteem. Being a mother was seen as the most important job we could do.
To me being a mother is still the most important job I can do, but somewhere in the last 50 or so years our society has began to disagree. Now we are seen as somehow surplus to requirements. Our role in society is minimalised. We are ONLY a stay at home Mom, as if we should be doing something more important instead. Staying home full time we easily get dismissed as irrelevant to larger society. Is it any wonder that so many women begin to loose their identity, or feel invisible when they do choose to stay at home?
I love being at home with my son. I often remark to my darling husband that I really admire him for being able to leave every day to go to work. I know it would break my heart to beyond distraction if I were the one who had to leave every morning to earn a living. I am fortunate. I have a husband who strongly supports me in being a stay at home wife and mother. He tells me regularly that he can cheerfully go out to work because he knows I am home taking proper care of our son. He doesn't have to give the welfare of Aiden a second thought while he is at work, because he knows as his mother I am taking care of him the way he needs to be taken care of.
I feel very privileged to be home every day, being a mother to a happy contented little boy. I get to use my creativity and intelligence in so many more ways than I ever did in any paid job I have ever done (and I've had some really great jobs over the years.) I get to watch this child grow and develop before my very eyes. I am witness to all his firsts. I am also the biggest influence in his life. Who he will become as a person is largely under my influence. The values and attitudes he develops in life will mostly be thanks to me. What he sees me do will influence what he does. How I live will be reflected in how he lives. I can take that responsibility and grow to be a better influence for him, or I can hand that over to strangers at daycare. Personally I'd rather do it myself.
My husband and I have a vision. We want to establish a godly dynasty with our family. It is having that vision that helps us both keep going in our respective roles within our family. I stay at home on purpose. I also have a purpose in staying at home. This is not idle time in my life. Rather together we are building foundational blocks in Aiden's life that will work towards our vision. This will extend to future children too. As our family grows, so our vision will grow. By the time they are adults we hope and plan to raise godly men and women for the Kingdom of God. We pray daily for our children to catch a hold of our vision and legacy and for them to then pass it on the the next generation after them.
The problem as far as I can see it is that so many of us have lost sight of our purpose and responsibility as parents. Our society tells us that it isn't important, that anyone can raise our children. When we loose sight of just how important we actually are to our children, then we begin to listen to all the negative voices around us. When we don't have a purpose and a vision for staying home, we get lost in the maze of emotions and other peoples comments. When we see ourselves as ONLY a stay at home Mom it gets too easy to feel invisible, unimportant and swallowed up in life.
If we want to avoid feeling invisible and lost we need to find our purpose. We need to ask ourselves why we are doing this? We also need to ask ourselves what can possibly be more important right now that investing in my child's future? The truth is that NOTHING is more important, no matter if your child is an infant or a teenager. Nobody can be a mother to your children as well as you can.
Feeling lost, get a vision. Feeling invisible, get a purpose. After that your imagination is your only limitation.
Let us all remember that stay at home Mom's are not JUST, they are ALL.
It seems that life won't ever get dull, when it is constantly changing.
Now that we're settled in to our new home, we've finally found some time to have some fun as a family. This past weekend we managed two trips to our community pool. They were short and sweet visits, but still it is one of the benefits of living in South Florida. The pool at our new place is heated, so we can use it all year long. After purchasing Aiden a pair of cloth swim diapers just before Christmas, we were able to take him into the water. What can I say? My son is just like his Daddy, a water baby. On Saturday it did take him a few minutes to relax and start enjoying the water. Yesterday when we went back for another quick try he relaxed right away and looked like he had been using a pool for months. I have a feeling Aiden is going to be able to swim before his Mamma.
Another change happened this past weekend. Aiden decided to change his nap routine again. Just as we were getting a handle on the 90 minutes awake and 60 minutes asleep our precious blessing decided this wasn't working anymore. He's just finished a growth spurt. This one happened virtually over night. On Christmas Day he had these enormous fat rolls at the top of his thighs, and could only reach the floor on his tip toes when playing in his Jumperoo. On Boxing Day (the next day) we noticed his feet were almost flat against the floor in the Jumperoo, and that his fat rolls seemed to have shrunk. A week later he starts to refuse to go to sleep for one of his naps. Yesterday I spent an hour and twenty minutes trying to get him to sleep for his second nap while we were at Church. Concerned he would have a melt down during the sermon we left early to come home and put him down to sleep. We thought he would fall asleep in the car, as he usually does when he's tired. Instead our little boy was wide eyed all the way home and for an hour afterwards. When he eventually went down for a nap he slept for two and a half hours.
So today we decided we would try keeping him up a little longer and trying a two nap routine. He stayed up for two and a half hours before his first nap. This gave me time to feed him his second breakfast before his first nap. He then slept for nearly two and a half hours. Then he stayed up for another two and a half hours. Right now he is down for his second nap, and is still asleep after nearly two hours. I guess Aiden decided that turning 7 months meant it was time to switch to a two naps a day routine.
I think the next few weeks will probably also see some changes to the amount of solids he eats, and hopefully the first of his teeth with make an appearance soon. I know that mobility will soon be upon us too, then it'll be time to train him where the safe areas to play are.
Ever since Aiden came home from the hospital a little over five months ago we have struggled to get him into a good nap routine during the day. He is a champion sleeper at night. Within the first two months he had developed the routine of sleeping ten plus hours at night. When he first started extending his night sleeping I was a little worried that he was going too long between feeds. I needed to nurse him at night more frequently than he awoke to feed. We both adjusted and I was surprised at how well he slept at night with no effort on my part.
Being just like his dad Aiden knew that when it is dark outside it is time to sleep, and to stay asleep until it gets light again. Right now he wants to go down for the night by 6pm. With the long dark nights upon us he will happily sleep for between eleven and twelve hours during the night. Yet daytime naps continued to be a struggle.
No matter how tired he got, Aiden just would not stay asleep during daylight hours. Every day was another battle to get him to nap for more than fifteen or twenty minutes. I always lost. He would take four naps but together they would add up to little more than an hour of sleep.
Then at the beginning of last week it changed. Rob and I had been doing some spiritual spring cleaning. We decided not only to unplug the cable (which we had only connected for the teenagers who stayed with us last school year) but we also removed it altogether. Along with the TV went to home theater system that had survived from Rob's bachelor days. His extensive DVD movie collection went too. We removed the world from our home and it resulted in a miracle.
We are now half way through our second week of the miracle of good naps. Our little boy now has a one hour nap after breakfast then a two hour nap before lunch. Later in the afternoon he will have another one hour nap. That's four hours of daytime naps. And he still sleeps all night long.
Finally I can get caught up on chores. Finally I can once again feel organised. Once again my darling husband can come home to dinner on the table and other delights like freshly made cookies. My son is happy. My husband is happy. I feel so blessed.
I am at peace now that I have order again. I am calm now that the distractions are gone. We are more together as a couple and as a family. I am reinvigorated with an energy I haven't felt in a long time.
The Lord is so good to us. He is patient and merciful. He was willing to wait for us. Then once we were ready to do whatever He required, He met us and transformed us.
Rob and I have agreed that from this point on we have to be a lot more careful about what we allow in our home. We have a responsibility to protect our son (and any other children if the Lord so blesses us) and guard his heart until he is old enough to guard it himself.
Last Saturday we hit two new milestones for Aiden. In the morning he managed to stay sitting upright for several seconds at a time without support. He was very cute trying to stay up before slowly leaning over on himself. How quickly the time seems to be going now that he is sitting up.
Then after several weeks of watching us intently every time we eat, and fussing even after a full 6oz bottle we decided to try him with some mashed banana as his first solid food. Not only did he take to it straight away, in less than a week he has started to realise that the food is on the way and gets so excited. He leans forward into the spoon eager to get the food, and fusses when I take the spoon away to put more food on it. He is so eager to eat he gets a lot of it over his face. Mashed banana has been a delight for our almost five month old. This weekend we will introduce sweet potato for a new taste and texture and see how much he likes that one too.
The most interesting outcome of introducing banana to Aiden's diet is that he is finally becoming more predictable in his daytime naps. Until this week he rarely slept during the day for more than 30 minutes. Now we are getting at least one 2 hour nap and another almost 2 hour nap. This wasn't the reason we added food to Aiden's diet, but it sure is a nice bonus. And he still sleeps 11 hours every night too, so now his sleep patterns are about as perfect as we could ever hope for.
We have such an easy contented little boy it makes parenting him a real pleasure. What a blessing and a joy it is to be Aiden's Mamma.
This week Aiden had his first head cold. Fortunately it was very mild. We took Aiden to Rob's office on Friday so Rob could show him off. I had to wait in the reception area, as Rob works for a company that sometimes does work on Defense Contracts. They have a big sign that states in big red letters "No Foreign Nationals." Since I am still just a permanent resident I couldn't go any further than the security desk. We think it was this visit to the office that infected Aiden, even though Rob didn't let anyone actually touch him.
So Aiden and I have had a very laid back week, with lots of snuggles and longer than usual naps. He is already becoming more independent from me. He plays on his own for over half an hour at a time, amusing himself with a ring of teething toys and a see through rattle. He no longer needs Mamma for constant amusement. It is a small step forward compared to all that he will accomplish by his first birthday, but shows just how short the time is when Aiden will be happy to snuggle on his Mamma's lap. He is sitting with support, and can move around the floor in circles using his arms and hips. He doesn't like being on his belly so hands and feet crawling is probably not going to be his thing. Rob scooted on his bum as a baby and we think Aiden is going to be the same way. He is also working on rolling over from his back to his belly, although I'm not sure what he'll do once he succeeds, probably cry for Mamma.
I am still filled with awe each and every day as I watch this little person called Aiden. He is such a sweet natured child who finds himself almost as amusing as his Dad does. He loves to chat, and giggles for no apparent reason, much to the amusement of his parents. It is such a privilege to be trusted with the nurture and raising of this precious child. I know I am greatly blessed to be his Mamma, and I hope and pray that we receive a whole quiverful just like him.
I can hardly believe Aiden is two months old already. The time seems to be flying by. After the first few weeks, we started to get more sleep. Aiden quickly worked out a night schedule where he woke up only twice to feed and have his diaper changed. He would fall asleep for the night as soon as it got dark (between 8-9pm) and would wake between 12-1am and again 4-5am. His only issue was going back to sleep after a feed. He would often be awake for over an hour and a half. During the day was a completely different story. He would only cat nap for about 20-30 minutes at a time, and only while he was being held. The very second I put him down in his cradle he would wake up and start to cry. So it was back in my arms again. Aiden would also like to feed for about an hour at a time, any less than that and he would start rooting again in about half an hour. In the first month we had three growth spurts where Aiden would eat almost all day long, but continue with his night schedule as normal.
Then almost two weeks ago it changed. Aiden started sleeping for 8-9 hours at night, still falling asleep for the night just after sunset. Finally both Rob and I were getting a full night of sleep every night. The last few nights it has been 10 hours of sleep. So last week I decided it was time to start working on a day time schedule. Holding Aiden all day just is not practical. I still have a home to take care of, and meals to prepare, not to mention basic necessities like showering, eating and drinking. My darling son has a radar for when I try to eat. It seems the second I put food towards my mouth Aiden will start to cry with some urgent need, usually a dirty or wet diaper. So back to the schedule, my goal is to get two daytime naps of between 1-2 hours at a time for a total of at least 3 hours of day time sleep. I have so far got one nap set into Aiden's day, but then he is still cat napping later in the day. So this week we are going to work on that second, afternoon, nap.
Hopefully once we get Aiden's day time schedule worked out I should be able to get back to blogging more regularly, maybe even about more than just motherhood, which is about the whole of my existence right now.
We are finally parents. Aiden arrived on Tuesday 1st June 2010 after a very long labor and emergency c-section. It wasn't the homebirth we had planned, but we definitely gave it our best try.
Below is the detailed birth story.
Labor started just before 1am Monday 31st May (Memorial Day) when I woke up to my waters breaking. We called the midwife to let her know and then tried to go back to sleep. About twenty minutes later the contractions started, immediately coming only 5-8 minutes apart. Both DH and I figured it would be a reasonably short labor at this point. By 2am we were both wide awake, so DH made us some steak for a middle of the night "breakfast." At 3am with the contractions consistently no more than 5 min apart we called our midwife again. She came to the house about twenty minutes later. I continued to labor for the rest of the night.
At 10am our midwife decided to check my progress. We were all surprised to find I was only 2cm dilated and 90% effaced, with the baby at -2 station. This was our first indication that our labor was going to be a lot longer and slower than we had expected. By 3pm dilation had increased to 3-4cm, and the midwife then manually stretched dilation to 5cm. We tried everything we could think of to help progress the labor. I used the tub twice, walked up and down the stairs, walked around the block. Eventually we even tried some homeopathy. By 10pm I eventually reached 8cm dilation, still 90% effaced, and baby at 0 station. Our midwife did notice a change in the baby's position, as the head had turned to a more difficult angle.
At 11pm our midwife let us know that we were close to timing out at home. Legal restrictions meant we could only continue at home after 24 hours from the water breaking if I was already pushing and making progress with pushing. At 1am I was checked again, and there had been no progress since the last check at 10pm. We now had to transfer to the hospital. Our midwife called ahead to get us admitted, and then grabbing just my tooth brush and tooth paste we drove to the hospital.
I have to say at this point that our midwife and her assistant could not have done more for us. They exhausted every resource they had trying to give us the homebirth we had planned. Our midwife also stayed with us at the hospital.
Once we got to the Labor & Delivery department I was admitted straight into a room, and after taking my details I was put on an IV. It took several attempts to get the IV in, but after that i was put on fluids, pitocin, and a mild pain killer was given through the IV too. My second night of labor continued in this way. Then the external contraction monitor was swapped for an internal monitor that would not only measure the contractions, but also there effectiveness. DH, being an engineer watched the output of this, and could see that the contractions were not doing anything. Exhausted, and now in more pain than I could handle because of the pitocin I finally conceded to an epidural. Our midwife finally had to go home at 7am. Once I had the epidural I could finally get some rest. I was put on a catheter too as I now couldn't feel anything below my waist. The nurse would increase the level of pitocin on a regular basis, until they had it at the legal limit.
Just after noon the baby finally started showing some signs of distress. I was still only 8cm dilated, 90% effaced and the baby was stuck at +1 station. Finally there was talk of a c-section to complete the delivery. DH and I already knew by this point that surgery was on the cards. I had not progressed in over 14 hours, even with all the medication. I had now been laboring for over 35 hours. We had to wait a little before we could have the surgery as there was another mother currently having a c-section, so we had to wait until her procedure was over.
Just before 2pm I was taken to the OR. At 2:23pm on Tuesday 1st June Aiden entered our world. We could hear him cry as he was pulled out of my womb. He sounded cross. It seemed like a few minutes before we finally heard the words "Its a boy." It was at this point the reality really hit me. We had a son.
DH went with Aiden to the nursery to be cleaned up and checked over, while I was stitched back up and eventually transferred to recovery. About ten minutes after I got to recovery DH came in with Aiden, and I got my first proper look at him. I tried nursing him, but we were both so tired and drugged that it didn't happen. After an hour in recovery we were transferred to the mother & baby department for our postpartum stay. DH got to room in with Aiden and I for the whole of our stay. This was crucial, especially for the first night as I couldn't get out of bed or pick up Aiden, he had to be placed in my arms. We continued trying to nurse Aiden without any success.
The following day I was finally able to get out of bed, albeit very slowly. Then once I was able to go to the bathroom three times my IV was removed. From that point it got increasingly easier to move around, although I was still on pain meds every four hours.
We were discharged on the Friday. Aiden was being formula fed after failing to latch the entire time we were at the hospital. We rented a breast pump from the hospital for 10 days, so we could work at transitioning Aiden to breastfeeding. I am glad to say that by Saturday morning Aiden was off the formula and feeding from his mummy. He has improved his latch and is thriving now as a breast fed baby.
We've been home just over a week and life is finally beginning to settle into a routine of sorts. We have a wonderfully contented baby. We have survived DH's first week back at work, and the departure of my parents last Monday.
I didn't plan to take a break from blogging, but it has done me some good. The last month of school before the Christmas break was a very busy time for our entire household. Rob was working crazy hours at work trying to meet all the pre-Christmas deadlines. The boys had a week of exams at the end of the semester. There seemed to be activities at Church almost every day. I had a few health issues that got me a little too stressed, and had a major shift in my sleep pattern.
Then the boys went home to the Bahamas for the Christmas break, and Rob had almost two weeks of vacation from work. We both spent the time resting, hanging out together, visiting family and friends and generally enjoying each others company. We wanted to enjoy our last Christmas as just the two of us. It was a refreshing break from the frantic pace of the last four months.
At almost the half way point in our pregnancy we finally started planning for the baby's arrival. We got some Target gift cards as Christmas presents, so we did our first baby shopping. We bought 4 dozen cloth prefold diapers and a couple of newborn sized gender neutral outfits. A couple of days later we made our first venture into BabiesRUs, where we looked for a crib and purchased some waterproof covers for the diapers. I'm feeling a lot more calm now that we have a few of the basics.
The pregnancy is going well. About three weeks ago I had some very light spotting. I did get a little scared, but it was just a few hours before my scheduled prenatal appointment. Rob came home from work to come to the appointment with me. Just having him there helped to calm me. Our wonderful midwife was very reassuring. She checked the heartbeat, which was good and strong. The spotting stopped the following day, and then a couple of days later the midwife called to say my labs had come back that I had a UTI. She gave me a choice of going to a doctor for antibiotics or trying cranberry pills. I discussed it with Rob and we agreed to try the cranberry first. I'll find out after my next prenatal appointment in a week if the infection has gone, meanwhile I'll keep taking the cranberries and lots of fluids.
I've been feeling the baby move since half way through the 16th week. At first it was just internal twitching, but after two weeks it became much more distinct movement. At that point Rob was able to occasionally feel the movements. The baby has also developed their father's sleep pattern. I am now waking up about 4am every morning with a very active baby and the strongest hunger pangs I've ever felt. Rob is enjoying having company again for breakfast. As a natural night-owl I didn't enjoy this change of routine much the first week. Three weeks later I'm finding that my day is much more productive when the chores are done immediately after Rob leaves for work. This morning the weekly laundry was already half done by the time I'd done the morning school run.
I've also been enjoying more stable emotions the last few weeks. The worst of the pregnancy hormone roller coaster seems to be behind me, and I'm back to my normal positive self. With this in mind I have made the decision that 2010 is going to be a less stressful, more positive year than 2009. The success of this is going to be entirely my choice in how I respond to what happens around me. I'll also be trying to blog more regularly. The plan for now will be three times a week, probably Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, as those are my at home days.
So that's the latest here and I look forward to sharing 2010 with you all.
We are seven weeks today. We had planned on keeping the news under wraps until Thanksgiving. But someone at Church guessed and announced it rather loudly in front of other people, so we had a mad dash to tell our parents and our boys before it got too widespread.
In hindsight it is probably a good thing that the news leaked out, as lots of people are praying this baby makes it through the whole nine months. I can feel the prayers, as the more people pray the sicker I get. I'm having really bad morning, noon and night sickness. I may feel terrible, but we are praising the Lord, as we know it is a good sign that the baby is strong and healthy. Please keep us in your prayers, that the baby will arrive safely in May and that I will be able to cope with the sickness and exhaustion of this stage of pregnancy.
I have my first appointment with our midwife on Wednesday. She was so excited for us when I called to make the appointment. She actually screamed with excitement when she got the phone call. It is so wonderful to feel like she is more of a close friend, who is as excited as us about the baby.
At the moment we have agreed not to have ultrasounds unless medically necessary, but I'm beginning to think that having one about week 12 to check the baby is developing as it might put my mind more at ease. Rob wants to wait until we can check the heart beat with the Doppler, but that may take until week 14 or after. I have a great peace about this pregnancy and more of a calmness than the last time. I know I can probably wait without the ultrasound, but I've still a few weeks before I need to decide for sure.
I can't believe we're in October already. I also can hardly believe it's been over two weeks since I posted. Life has been pretty busy here, with school runs, homework, sports and all of us trying to adjust to this new lifestyle.
It's Monday morning and I'm already exhausted. One of the boys decided he wasn't tired enough to go to bed last night (after sleep ALL afternoon) and I ended up having to chase him to bed after 11pm last night. Then I get to be up at 5:30am this morning, while he didn't drag himself out of bed until 7:15am, when we leave the house at 7:40am. I have all day to think of a suitable means of enforcing discipline for this. It's the third Sunday on a row this has happened. My dearest husband and I had already agreed that this week we wouldn't let them sleep at all Sunday afternoon, then my beloved decided it wasn't a big deal and let them sleep. It's not a big deal to him, as he's not the one who gets to stay up to make sure they go to bed, and he's not the one that has to get them up, make their packed lunch, make breakfast and then drive them to school. I won't take another Sunday night/Monday morning like this again. I need at least eight full hours of sleep at night, and I haven't got that since the boys moved in.
We've also been working ourselves to death to help them with their homework. Well last week I spoke to the English teacher of the same boy mentioned above. She said she would be happy to tutor him on Monday's after school, so he was told to ask her to start today. He "forgot." So this morning I reminded him again to ask his teacher to start the extra tuition. If he doesn't do it today I'm not going to be reminding him again. I am also not going to be helping him with the homework either until he starts putting in more effort.
We've certainly stepped into parenting by the most difficult route possible. One thing we have learned though is that we are most definitely going to be homeschooling our own children.
On Monday I took my driving test, and passed. So I am now allowed out on my own in the car. Of course this also means I get to do the school run every day, twice a day. The boys were thrilled as they thought that means they get to leave later to go to school. They were wrong. I did have to threaten them with walking to school to get them out Tuesday morning. More threats yesterday morning, so I decided to change tactics. Last night they were informed that for every minute they keep me waiting to leave past 7:40am I will wake them up 10 minutes earlier the following morning. It worked. This morning we were actually pulling out of the garage at 7:38am, two whole minutes early.
I was just getting ready for my 2nd graders library visit this morning when one of my boys arrived at the library. He has a migraine. It's his third one in 2 weeks, so I decided he needed to come home and go to bed. I cancelled today's library sessions with the elementary classes and brought him home. He has a family history of migraines, and given how much stress he has been under since he got here, along with all the sports practice and faster pace of life here, I'm not surprised it has finally caught up with him. A day in bed sleeping and resting should have him back on his feet by tomorrow.
Best part is I get an unexpected day off. I'm caught up with chores as I didn't think I'd be home today, and dinner is already in the crock pot. I might even get some time to work on some craft projects today.
As we near the end of our second week with our boys I have to say, parenting teenagers is very different to anything I have ever done before. They are funny, energetic, hardworking, and driving me crazy on a regular basis. Just getting them out for school in the morning has been challenging. Firstly they have never had to get up as early as we make them get up in the morning. Neither of them are morning people, and I can relate to that, so it makes mornings a challenge for all three of us. Then there is the difference between Carribean time and American time, a challenge all to itself. Thursday mornings at present are the biggest trial of this nature, as I volunteer at the school library, so my darling husband has to bring us all to the school. This also requires him to go to work later than he usually does, as he is normally at work before the boys are even awake. We aim to leave at 7am, so my beloved can be in the office by 8am, but it just isn't happening. This morning it was 7:20am before we left, and it started to rain really hard about 7:15am, so we all got soaked just getting into the car, and then we were late on top of that.
I know that moving here to go to High School is a big adjustment for our boys, and I am so proud of them for all the effort they are making. They are 15 years old and that explains a lot of their behaviour in and of itself. They are having to adjust to living with a couple they don't know, and who do things differently than their own parents do. They are having to adjust to a completely different school system, and learning ethic. They have sports practise almost every day, including Saturdays, and most nights several hours of homework. They have a lot of catching up to do to get their grades up to a level where they can stay on the sports teams. Yet they never complain about any of it. Regardless of the pressure from back home to succeed they keep smiling and laughing, and keeping my husband and I entertained.
I may have jumped in at the deep end taking on two boys in their mid-teen years, but I am loving being mum to them. Despite having to get up earlier to get them up, and staying up later to make sure they go to bed when they have been told to, I am enjoying this. It is hard work. It is exhausting. It is also rewarding, and entertaining. Instead of the quiet peaceful atmosphere we are used to, we now have noise, video games, chaos and lots of laughter. It is stretching me, forcing me to not hold onto the control so tightly. It is teaching me daily how to lay down my life in ways I never realised I needed to.
Life with teenagers is certainly a challege, but one I am very glad to rise up to. Now that we have them I wouldn't want to change it for anything.
Today my wonderful husband and I decided it was time to go public with our family news. We are expecting a new arrival to our family in January 2010. This is our first baby, and we are planning to have a home birth. We originally planned to keep this news to ourselves until we were past the 12 week mark, but I have already gained over 6 inches on my waist, all at the front, so my clothes are beginning to feel too tight. We decided it was probably better to tell people before they began guessing when I start having to wear maternity style clothing.
We have been blessed with finding a really good experienced home birthing midwife, who only lives a 5 minute drive from us. Our parents and families are excited. This will be the third grand-baby for my parents, and the first grand-baby for Rob's parents.
Below is an article I originally wrote while still in Bible College in the UK. It was an exercise in writing a research paper. However I still very much advocate the conclusion I came to at the end of the research, and publish it here on my blog to inform and educate. I know many of my friends, who do not always share my conclusions, read my blog. To those who currently disagree with my conclusion I can only recommend that you do your own further research into this subject. For all my readers may I state from the beginning it is not my aim to condemn nor judge any one, merely to inform. Whatever conclusion or decision you make in this area, may it be informed rather than just emotional. May the Holy Spirit guide each and every soul who reads this article.
Is the birth control pill suitable for Christians?
Introduction
This article will present my findings on the birth control pill. I will explain what the birth control pill is, and how it works. I will then present what the Bible says in this area. Finally I will look at the implications for Christians as a result of this research.
The Birth Control Pill
The birth control pill, or oral contraceptive, is a pill containing artificial progesterone and estrogen. It is taken daily by women to make them temporarily infertile. The progesterone and estrogen act in a way that the natural hormones would when a woman is pregnant.
The effectiveness of this pill, when administered properly is commonly known to be between 95% and 97%. However the cause of this effectiveness is a complicated matter. There are several methods known by medical science that contribute to the overall effectiveness of this medication.
How does it work?
The most commonly known and understood method of this pill is that it stops ovulation. By tricking the woman's body into thinking it is pregnant, it will stop the ripening and release of the ovum. If there is no ovum there can be no conception. In this method it is truly a contraceptive.
This first method of contraception is the one which is explained to most women when they start taking this pill. It is the main selling point by the pharmaceutical companies who manufacture the drugs. What is not explained, however, is that this is not the only method by which these pills work.
The second method employed by this medication is cited in the Physician's Desk Reference to "include changes in the cervical mucus," (2461) which increase the difficulty of sperm entry into the uterus. This would also inhibit conception from happening. If there is no sperm there can be no conception. Once again this is a true contraceptive.
These first two methods are not the only ones which contribute to the known effectiveness of this medication. It is these other, less well known, methods that may cause the greatest concern for us as Christians. What is not widely known by the women taking these pills is that there is a third commonly acknowledged method contributing to the effectiveness of this pill. Again according to the Physician's Desk Reference this pill causes "changes in the endometrium which reduce the likelihood of implantation." (2461) In this case there has already been conception. The new child is now approximately six days old when it enters the womb and begins to implant in the endometrium. This method is not a true contraceptive, it is abortive.
In his book Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? Randy Alcorn quotes part of an interview with Richard Hill, a pharmacist who works for Ortho-McNeil, one of the largest pill manufacturers. Referring to the third method of these pills and how true it is Richard Hill states:
"It's observable. We know what an endometrium looks like when it's rich and most receptive to the fertilized egg. When a woman is taking the Pill you can clearly see the difference, based both on gross appearance and under a microscope. You can actually see what it does to the endometrium and it's obvious it makes implantation less likely. The only thing that's theoretical is the numbers, becuase we just don't know that. (27)
However even if the determined little child does manage to implant in the hostile and atrophied endometriun there is a forth way in which the pregnancy may not go ahead. There is not enough nourishment for the child until the placenta is formed. The baby literally starves to death, resulting in a premature end of the pregnancy. Once again this is not a true contraceptive, as there has already been not only conception, but also implantation. This method is also an abortive.
If this was not enough of a challenge to a new life, there is yet another method by which a pregnancy may not go ahead. The artificial hormones are also known to sometimes speed up the fertilized egg's travel time along the fallopian tube so that it still too immature to implant when it does reach the uterus. In a normal drug free body the new child will enter the uterus, or womb, during the sixth day after conception. It will then spend the next week or so implanting itself into the endometrium, from which it is nourished during this early stage. If the child is forced through into the womb before the sixth day it will not be developed enough to begin the implantation process. Instead of implanting this new child will instead pass out of the womb and be lost before the mother is even aware that it exists. Once again conception has already happened. This is now a third abortive mechanism of the Pill.
It is known that all of these mechanisms fail for a minimum of 3% of women who take this medication as prescribed. The total failure rate is even higher for those who fail to take it every day it is required. Since it is known that all five mechanisms fail at some point it is not unreasonable to assume that there will be an unspecified percentage in which only the first method of stopping ovulation fails. Subsequently there will then be another unspecified percentage in which the second method also fails and therefore conception takes place. Whatever the percentage of failure is attributed to each of the remaining mechanisms, one thing is clear; they all involve the ending of a new life. Together they form a third unspecified percentage in which new lives are arborted, and usually before the mother could even be aware that they exist. Even if the percentage of failure concerning the prevention of ovulation is very small, and the failure of the cervical mucus narrows that percentage of potential conception even further, is it still possible for someone who obeys the teaching of Scripture to use this form of birth control with a clear conscience?
What does the Bible say?
In order to answer the question above we must turn to what the Bible has to say. As the inspired and inerrant Word of God it must be our final guide when making moral decisions. I will be quoting from the Authorised Version (KJV).
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. Jeremiah 1:5
Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine: the soul that sinneth, it shall die. Ezekiel 18:4
These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: a proud lok, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood... Proverbs 6:16-19
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleaness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of which I tell you before, as I have also told you in times past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21
According to James Strong the word translated witchcraft in the Galatians passage is the Greek word "Pharmakeia" which means medication. This is a reference to the practice in ancient times of inducing miscarriages through the taking of herbs or poisons which were known to have this effect. Chemical abortions have always taken place. The only difference with our modern methods is the rate of effectiveness.
We can also see from the Scriptures above and many, many more that God alone is to be the giver and taker of life. He knows us intimately like no other from the very second we start growing at conception. He has a plan for each and every life that is conceived and that plan is a good thing. Children are a blessing He gives to us.
What are the implications for us?
When we consider all of the above evidence we are faced with deciding what our actions will be. Regardless of our opinions of birth control in general, we must decide on the appropriateness of this particular form of birth control.
If a married couple chooses to remain childless, or to limit the number of children they have, the decision should be shaped by principles which honour God and not by selfish motives. No family planning that invloves the sacrifice of one of the members of that family can please God.
This is not just an issue for women. It takes both a man and a woman to fertilize the ovum and begin a new life. Within the context of a Christian marriage the woman is not alone in making reproductive decisions. It is the man who is head of the family unit. It is the man who has been ordained of God to be leader in the family home. It is the man who will be held accountable for the decisions that are made as a couple. Both the husband and the wife need to make these decisions together.
For those couples who want to control the size of their family there needs to be some soul searching. Is this what the LORD really wants for you? Search the Scriptures honestly and openly at the same time as you search out alternative methods of contraception. Why would God's blessing and gift of life be the wrong choice for you? In our time and culture we have forgotten that children are a blessing and gift from God. Children are not the inconvenience we all too often treat them as.
Conclusion
We can see from the medical evidence that the Birth Control Pill (and all other hormonal contraceptives) works in five different ways. While we can never know the actual percentages we can be certain that there is a possibility each time it is used that it will cause a very early abortion.
We can also see that the Bible is very clear in how it views Children. They are a blessing and a gift from God. He knows them right from the second of conception. They are precious to Him. He views the taking of life of one of these unborn children as an abomination.
As those who seek to live in a way that honours and pleases God we need to seriously consider the choices we make in reproduction. Why are we seeking to limit God's blessings in this area of our lives? Is it a matter of convenience and selfishness? Are we honouring our God and Creator in this part of our lives?
Bibliography
Alcorn, Randy. Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? Eternal Perspective Ministries: Gresham, Oregon. 1999
Barron, Shirley L. "Searching for Life's Beginning." Christianity Today Nov. 1991: 41
Billings, Dr Evelyn L. and Billings, Dr John J. The Billings Ovulation Method. Ovulation Method and Research Centre of Australia
Burtchaell, James Tunstead. "Make Room for Baby." Christianity Today Nov. 1991: 42+
Evans, Debra. "The Price of the Pill." Christianity Today Nov. 1991: 39+
Grenz, Stanley J. "Family Planning and the Plan of God." Christianity Today Nov. 1991: 35+
Smith, F LaGard. When Choice Becomes God. Harvest House: Eugene, Oregon. 1990
