Two months in, some thoughts on our pregnancy

Finally the nausea of the last several weeks is beginning to fade. I am still careful not to overeat, as this is sure to bring back that horrible feeling in my stomach, but I am back to trying to eat a more balanced diet than the last few weeks. I was beginning to dread having to eat, but also knowing I couldn't let my stomach get completely empty either. I've managed a proper breakfast today for the first time in weeks, and so far so good.

I did a closet clearout yesterday, removing all the clothes that no longer fit due to my ever increasing waist. It was discouraging to go into the closet everyday and struggle with what to wear, so it is now all put away in an empty closet, out of sight for the duration of this pregnancy. I am trying to make the rest of my clothes last as long as possible before I make the move into maternity wear. I have been blessed over the last several months with donations of free fabric from a few friends who knew I like to sew. I am planning on making some maternity wear from this fabric, thus having free maternity clothes. I'll be making a few dresses and some tops. One is already completed. Hopefully all I'll have to pay for are a few skirts and maybe a few tops for wearing to church. Living in South Florida where it is summer all year long I am keen to have all cotton clothing, something which would be difficult if I didn't know how to sew.

We've also had a new family start attending our church, and Sunday School class. The wife is four months pregnant with her fourth baby. They have been looking for a church since moving to our area over six months ago. She even used the same midwife as us for her first baby, but all the others have been high risk due to health issues so she's not been able to homebirth since. This current pregnancy is also high risk, and already at four months she is supposed to be on bed rest, not easy when you have three boys of 8, 6 and 2 to look after all day. If anyone has any ideas how she can get more rest during the day please let me know. She has already been a real blessing to me and I look forward to getting to know her better over the coming months.

Already I realise how special this first pregnancy is. I have the opportunity to rest when I need to, even sleep in the daytime if I require it. I don't have to drag myself out of bed after a sleepless night to go to work, or to care for other children. I can enjoy this pregnancy in a way I won't with any others. I can read, sew, relax, write and take an easy pace to life while I am tired. Once this precious baby arrives it won't just be me anymore. Future pregnancies will not be so indulged as this one when there are other children to care for.

I am thankful that I am blessed as I am. I get to stay at home every day. I get to set my own pace to my life right now. I am host to the most amazing miracle on earth, as this new person grows inside my body. I have too many friends who cannot have have any children, yet they all rejoice with us in our joyful news. I am so blessed, and so thankful to be in this position. God truly has been good to me.

Where has my waist gone?

Today I am officially fully eight weeks pregnant. It still mostly feels unreal. I have to remind my self that we really are having a baby. While my mind may be taking a while to catch on to this pregnancy, my body is not. I've already gained eight inches on my waist, so none of my skirts fit anymore. I think that's a difficult one for me to accept so soon. I've always have an hour glass shape with a very small waist, and now it has gone. I knew it would happen, I just never expected it to happen so fast. I am trying to make do with my normal clothes for as long as possible, just leaving the last couple of buttons undone. However at the rate I am currently going I think it may only be a few more weeks before my normal clothes are put away for a year.

I have been very fortunate to not suffer from "morning sickness" and I am very grateful for that. My mum didn't have it with any of us, so that's a good sign. I have however had ever increasing nausea. Just this week it has become a constant companion, making it very difficult for me to eat everything I should be eating. The only foods that are even a little appetising are oranges and cheese. It's not easy keeping an iron rich diet when I have to force myself to eat.

Rob is being a wonderful support. He keeps telling me how beautiful I am to him whenever I feel down about losing my waist. He has also become quite protective, always asking if I've had enough rest, and how I am feeling. He is also keeping me supplied with fresh fruit, bringing some home with him after work if he thinks we're getting too low on supplies.

I have been surprised by the amount of questions we have had since going public last weekend. We were even asked this week if we've picked names yet. The most common question though is when are we going to find out if the baby is a boy or girl. Everyone seems surprised that we plan on waiting until the baby is born. I even want to avoid the ultrasound/sonogram unless our midwife feels it is medically necessary. The less tests and screens we have the better. The Lord knows what he is doing in knitting this person together in the secret of my womb, and I'd rather not interfere with that process. My mum never had an ultrasound with any of us and we were all born completely healthy. Both my brother and sister were complicated births, but I was very straight-forward and the shortest of all my mum's labours too. Part of our decision to homebirth is to limit the amount of interference that doctors here in the USA feel is necessary to justify the huge cost they charge. I am glad that Rob and I discussed all our options before we ever got pregnant, as I am sure it would be much easier for us to be swept along in the system if we had waited until I was already pregnant and being to get emotional.

The other thing I have noticed already, and didn't expect so soon, is "pregnancy brain." I have to really concentrate at times just to get simple tasks completed. I've always been very efficient and easily able to multitask, I am an administrator by nature. Now I have moments were even simple thought processes are beyond me, or I start something then forget what I'm doing. It is frustrating, but sometimes also quite funny, especially when Rob finds me in a lather over something trivial.

Mostly though I am simply in awe of the fact that I have another person growing inside of me right now. It makes me so thankful to be a woman. Even with all the changes happening to my body (and mind)I get to be a part of the most amazing miracle on earth. God is so good in designing us this way, and letting us share in the creation of new life.

Family News

Today my wonderful husband and I decided it was time to go public with our family news. We are expecting a new arrival to our family in January 2010. This is our first baby, and we are planning to have a home birth. We originally planned to keep this news to ourselves until we were past the 12 week mark, but I have already gained over 6 inches on my waist, all at the front, so my clothes are beginning to feel too tight. We decided it was probably better to tell people before they began guessing when I start having to wear maternity style clothing.

We have been blessed with finding a really good experienced home birthing midwife, who only lives a 5 minute drive from us. Our parents and families are excited. This will be the third grand-baby for my parents, and the first grand-baby for Rob's parents.

Anaemia

I found out yesterday a reason for my extreme tiredness over the last few weeks. I am anaemic. I've had an issue with this for several years. However for the first time in my life I have been put on iron. I had some routine blood tests done on Monday, and the results came back that everything was fine except that I am anaemic. My blood count was 11.5, but I was told it should be over 13. I've had a blood count averaging 11.3 several times over the years, but in the UK it was counted as borderline and not treated. So today begins the liquid iron every morning and evening until the next set of blood tests in about four months time. Hopefully I'll start finding my energy levels rising again as well.

How far is too far?

It's been a few weeks since I last blogged. It's been a busy few weeks and I've been experiencing the worst tiredness I've ever had in m life. Just keeping up with the housework has been a challenge the last few weeks. But enough about me.

For the last several months I've been providing sole supporter of a friend who like me has moved over to America through marriage. This is not my friends first marriage, nor the first for her husband. The both have teenage boys to add to the mix. She has certainly had a more difficult time adjusting to life here stateside. Our circumstances are very different. It is a first and only marriage for both Rob and I. It is a third marriage for both my friend and her husband. Rob and I do not have any children yet. Both my friend and her husband have a grown-up daughter and a teenage son. But this is not the reason for problems. Many families find themselves in my friends position and still make it work, eventually very happily.

My friend seemed to be doomed from the start. Her step-son is 15 and seems to be just one step away from jail. He stays out all night with older boys, comes home with money he has no way to account for, is failing at school, shows only contempt for my friend and her son. I truly feel for the child. He is a product of his upbringing. All his life he has been used as a pawn between his parents, and has a stable home with neither of them. My friend tried to provide that stability for him, treating him the same way she does her own 13 year old son. This just produced more contempt and greater rebellion. Eventually to protect her own son she had to draw a line and refuse to take on the responsibility that belonged to the child's own parents. I should say at this point my friends husband works out of town and so only gets home at the weekends.

It seemed after months of turmoil life would finally begin to settle down. That was a mistake. Even with the step-son out of the house and back living with his mother life seems to keep getting worse. It would now appear that my friend's husband got her to marry him under false pretenses. He wanted a babysitter for his son. After trying for months and failing that hasn't worked. So now she is getting to see a side of her husband that would make anyone want to flee. He has been caught hiding a drug habit from her, and admitted to not telling her the whole truth about his life before they got married. In the last two months he has become verbally abusive to her son, becoming increasingly aggressive each time he gets home for the weekend. He is having violent mood swings and even being hostile to her.

I feel torn. I want to say divorce is not an option. Keep working on it until it gets better. Yet I also know that life is not always that simple. I truly fear that my friend and her son are just one mood swing away from being severely beaten. I have other friends who have survived the horrors of abusive relationships, and still can't believe how long it can go on before they even try to escape. I want to be a good friend. I praise the Lord that both my friend and her son have come to know the Lord since moving over here to America. Yet I fear for her safety and that of her 13 year old son. They gave up everything to move here and start over. Only seven months into it and it is becoming a nightmare.

How do I be the friend she needs me to be? How do I provide wise counsel? I know I'm the only friend she has over here. How far is too far when it comes to abuse in a marriage? When do we run away from the danger when all our emotions tell us to stay? I pray every day seeking the wisdom to help her through this, but I feel so out of my depth. When is it alright to encourage another to walk away from their wedding vows? Is it ever alright to encourage the separation of a married couple? I really want to know the answers to these question, but don't know if I ever will.

Winter in May

For the last few days we've had a slow moving cold front over us in our part of Florida. The normally sunny and hot weather has instead become like winter back in Scotland. It feels as though the rain has forgotten how to stop, although truthfully here in Florida even rainy days are not constant. The sky has been shades of gray since Monday, and I even find myself suffering from cold hands. I can hardly believe I am actually wishing I had brought a sweater with me to the school library today. The thought of being snuggled up under a soft warm blanket is really appealing right now. This is especially true as the lack of sunshine is also making me feel tired and sleepy. For the first time since I arrived in Florida eight months ago I think it is definitely a day for hot chocolate rather than a chocolate milkshake.

The positive side of all this rain is seen in our garden. We have been able to turn the sprinklers off. My tomato and pepper plants are loving all the rain and seem to be thriving through this cold spell. (Not that it's that cold here, 75f, just colder than I've become used to.)Our grass has never looked greener, and is still the greenest garden in our neighbourhood.

God's blessings are not always to our taste, but they are always for our benefit. I might be missing the blue skies and sunshine, but I know that the rain and cloudy days are a necessary part of life too. In all of life the Lord gives us what we need and what is good for us generously and in abundance. May I always appreciate every blessing He sends my way, be it cloudy rain or warm sunshine.

Is the Birth Control Pill Suitable for Christians?

Below is an article I originally wrote while still in Bible College in the UK. It was an exercise in writing a research paper. However I still very much advocate the conclusion I came to at the end of the research, and publish it here on my blog to inform and educate. I know many of my friends, who do not always share my conclusions, read my blog. To those who currently disagree with my conclusion I can only recommend that you do your own further research into this subject. For all my readers may I state from the beginning it is not my aim to condemn nor judge any one, merely to inform. Whatever conclusion or decision you make in this area, may it be informed rather than just emotional. May the Holy Spirit guide each and every soul who reads this article.

Is the birth control pill suitable for Christians?

Introduction

This article will present my findings on the birth control pill. I will explain what the birth control pill is, and how it works. I will then present what the Bible says in this area. Finally I will look at the implications for Christians as a result of this research.

The Birth Control Pill

The birth control pill, or oral contraceptive, is a pill containing artificial progesterone and estrogen. It is taken daily by women to make them temporarily infertile. The progesterone and estrogen act in a way that the natural hormones would when a woman is pregnant.

The effectiveness of this pill, when administered properly is commonly known to be between 95% and 97%. However the cause of this effectiveness is a complicated matter. There are several methods known by medical science that contribute to the overall effectiveness of this medication.

How does it work?

The most commonly known and understood method of this pill is that it stops ovulation. By tricking the woman's body into thinking it is pregnant, it will stop the ripening and release of the ovum. If there is no ovum there can be no conception. In this method it is truly a contraceptive.

This first method of contraception is the one which is explained to most women when they start taking this pill. It is the main selling point by the pharmaceutical companies who manufacture the drugs. What is not explained, however, is that this is not the only method by which these pills work.

The second method employed by this medication is cited in the Physician's Desk Reference to "include changes in the cervical mucus," (2461) which increase the difficulty of sperm entry into the uterus. This would also inhibit conception from happening. If there is no sperm there can be no conception. Once again this is a true contraceptive.

These first two methods are not the only ones which contribute to the known effectiveness of this medication. It is these other, less well known, methods that may cause the greatest concern for us as Christians. What is not widely known by the women taking these pills is that there is a third commonly acknowledged method contributing to the effectiveness of this pill. Again according to the Physician's Desk Reference this pill causes "changes in the endometrium which reduce the likelihood of implantation." (2461) In this case there has already been conception. The new child is now approximately six days old when it enters the womb and begins to implant in the endometrium. This method is not a true contraceptive, it is abortive.

In his book Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? Randy Alcorn quotes part of an interview with Richard Hill, a pharmacist who works for Ortho-McNeil, one of the largest pill manufacturers. Referring to the third method of these pills and how true it is Richard Hill states:

"It's observable. We know what an endometrium looks like when it's rich and most receptive to the fertilized egg. When a woman is taking the Pill you can clearly see the difference, based both on gross appearance and under a microscope. You can actually see what it does to the endometrium and it's obvious it makes implantation less likely. The only thing that's theoretical is the numbers, becuase we just don't know that. (27)

However even if the determined little child does manage to implant in the hostile and atrophied endometriun there is a forth way in which the pregnancy may not go ahead. There is not enough nourishment for the child until the placenta is formed. The baby literally starves to death, resulting in a premature end of the pregnancy. Once again this is not a true contraceptive, as there has already been not only conception, but also implantation. This method is also an abortive.

If this was not enough of a challenge to a new life, there is yet another method by which a pregnancy may not go ahead. The artificial hormones are also known to sometimes speed up the fertilized egg's travel time along the fallopian tube so that it still too immature to implant when it does reach the uterus. In a normal drug free body the new child will enter the uterus, or womb, during the sixth day after conception. It will then spend the next week or so implanting itself into the endometrium, from which it is nourished during this early stage. If the child is forced through into the womb before the sixth day it will not be developed enough to begin the implantation process. Instead of implanting this new child will instead pass out of the womb and be lost before the mother is even aware that it exists. Once again conception has already happened. This is now a third abortive mechanism of the Pill.

It is known that all of these mechanisms fail for a minimum of 3% of women who take this medication as prescribed. The total failure rate is even higher for those who fail to take it every day it is required. Since it is known that all five mechanisms fail at some point it is not unreasonable to assume that there will be an unspecified percentage in which only the first method of stopping ovulation fails. Subsequently there will then be another unspecified percentage in which the second method also fails and therefore conception takes place. Whatever the percentage of failure is attributed to each of the remaining mechanisms, one thing is clear; they all involve the ending of a new life. Together they form a third unspecified percentage in which new lives are arborted, and usually before the mother could even be aware that they exist. Even if the percentage of failure concerning the prevention of ovulation is very small, and the failure of the cervical mucus narrows that percentage of potential conception even further, is it still possible for someone who obeys the teaching of Scripture to use this form of birth control with a clear conscience?

What does the Bible say?

In order to answer the question above we must turn to what the Bible has to say. As the inspired and inerrant Word of God it must be our final guide when making moral decisions. I will be quoting from the Authorised Version (KJV).

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. Jeremiah 1:5

Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine: the soul that sinneth, it shall die. Ezekiel 18:4

These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: a proud lok, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood... Proverbs 6:16-19

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleaness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of which I tell you before, as I have also told you in times past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21

According to James Strong the word translated witchcraft in the Galatians passage is the Greek word "Pharmakeia" which means medication. This is a reference to the practice in ancient times of inducing miscarriages through the taking of herbs or poisons which were known to have this effect. Chemical abortions have always taken place. The only difference with our modern methods is the rate of effectiveness.

We can also see from the Scriptures above and many, many more that God alone is to be the giver and taker of life. He knows us intimately like no other from the very second we start growing at conception. He has a plan for each and every life that is conceived and that plan is a good thing. Children are a blessing He gives to us.

What are the implications for us?

When we consider all of the above evidence we are faced with deciding what our actions will be. Regardless of our opinions of birth control in general, we must decide on the appropriateness of this particular form of birth control.

If a married couple chooses to remain childless, or to limit the number of children they have, the decision should be shaped by principles which honour God and not by selfish motives. No family planning that invloves the sacrifice of one of the members of that family can please God.

This is not just an issue for women. It takes both a man and a woman to fertilize the ovum and begin a new life. Within the context of a Christian marriage the woman is not alone in making reproductive decisions. It is the man who is head of the family unit. It is the man who has been ordained of God to be leader in the family home. It is the man who will be held accountable for the decisions that are made as a couple. Both the husband and the wife need to make these decisions together.

For those couples who want to control the size of their family there needs to be some soul searching. Is this what the LORD really wants for you? Search the Scriptures honestly and openly at the same time as you search out alternative methods of contraception. Why would God's blessing and gift of life be the wrong choice for you? In our time and culture we have forgotten that children are a blessing and gift from God. Children are not the inconvenience we all too often treat them as.

Conclusion

We can see from the medical evidence that the Birth Control Pill (and all other hormonal contraceptives) works in five different ways. While we can never know the actual percentages we can be certain that there is a possibility each time it is used that it will cause a very early abortion.

We can also see that the Bible is very clear in how it views Children. They are a blessing and a gift from God. He knows them right from the second of conception. They are precious to Him. He views the taking of life of one of these unborn children as an abomination.

As those who seek to live in a way that honours and pleases God we need to seriously consider the choices we make in reproduction. Why are we seeking to limit God's blessings in this area of our lives? Is it a matter of convenience and selfishness? Are we honouring our God and Creator in this part of our lives?

Bibliography

Alcorn, Randy. Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? Eternal Perspective Ministries: Gresham, Oregon. 1999

Barron, Shirley L. "Searching for Life's Beginning." Christianity Today Nov. 1991: 41

Billings, Dr Evelyn L. and Billings, Dr John J. The Billings Ovulation Method. Ovulation Method and Research Centre of Australia

Burtchaell, James Tunstead. "Make Room for Baby." Christianity Today Nov. 1991: 42+

Evans, Debra. "The Price of the Pill." Christianity Today Nov. 1991: 39+

Grenz, Stanley J. "Family Planning and the Plan of God." Christianity Today Nov. 1991: 35+

Smith, F LaGard. When Choice Becomes God. Harvest House: Eugene, Oregon. 1990