The call back home

With our decorating almost over I thought I could spare some time to write again. Decorating has been a long project for us. When I moved here in September last year our whole house needed to be painted. Rob moved in just after construction was completed, and so all the internal walls were covered in plain white plaster. Nearly seven months later we have just a few coats of paint in our bedroom to go. We did choose a lovely dark crimson so our room would be nice a cosy. As a result we are having to do several coats of paint. So far we are at two coats, with probably two more to go. I'll get another one done today and then we'll do the fourth tomorrow. That should have us ready to move the furniture back in on Monday. I will be so glad to finally have the house back together and my routine back on track.

Recently I started meeting with a friend once a fortnight for bible study. It started as a response to a crisis, but after the first few she came to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Already it has been encouraging to see the change in her life. We have committed to continue to meet and study God's Word together. We are currently looking at Ephesians 4 and Paul's instructions for living a godly life. I think Ephesians is a great book, as they were surrounded by gross ungodliness and affluence, just as we are today. They faced the same challenges in everyday living that we do. Last night we were discussing why Paul told them to not be like their pagan neighbours. We too are called to be different from the world around us.

With my friend it is easy to see how the Lord is working in her heart and transforming her from the image of the world into His own likeness. Even though she is but a baby spiritually and has everything to learn, the Lord has moved her heart in the direction He would have it go. I can remember just weeks ago, before she was saved, how she would explain her lack of desire for her home. Her husband did a lot of the chores at home. They both worked full-time and with teenage daughter involved with school sports for a large part of the year she had neither the time nor the interest to be involved with a domestic life. Praise God, that's the first thing He changed in her heart. Since salvation she has developed a burning desire to be home and focused on being a wife and a mother. She didn't even know that was biblical until she had already decided to find a way to get back home. She has shared with me how during quiet spells at work she is thinking about what she could be doing at home instead. She is excited to be home cleaning and organising and caring for her family. I have already told her how encouraged I am at the complete change in her, whilst also trying to prepare her for other people's reactions.

It is a sad truth that in the Church we both attend there are very few women who stay home, or even desire to be home. Some of the older women smile when they find out I am a stay at home wife and have no desire to be in the workplace, but even most of them don't do likewise. Most of the women I know have become so used to silencing that inner voice that calls them home, they don't even hear it anymore. The dividing line between us and the world has been somehow erased. Corporately, in our desire to be relevant and reach the lost, we have forgotten we are called out of the world by our Lord and Saviour. The gospel is not a relevant message, it is a radical one. The first century Church turned the known world upside down. In our generation instead of transforming we have become experts at conforming.

I have never been very good at conforming. Maybe it is because I come from a non-conformist background. Even as a teenager I knew the God I read in the Word and the God I experienced was a radical transformer. I knew even at the age of fourteen, when I first got saved, that I was called to be different. All of us who know Christ, and Him crucified, are called to be different. Along with being non-conformist, I have also never been a good compromiser. For me the two go hand in hand. I am a sold out, give it everything I've got kind of person. I was that way even as a child, and I am still that way today. It is how I understand God to be. He doesn't want a part of me, or you, He wants it all.

So what happens now. We take that radical message of complete transformation and we let it get infectious. We share it honestly and completely and watch it grow. Only six weeks ago I was a lone voice in my Sunday School class, and Church. Now there are two of us, with three teenage girls to influence. We pray for two more, then four more, then eight, and we keep going until our entire Church is transformed. Then we keep going until our entire community is transformed. Then we keep going until it is no longer a few lone voices who only meet like minded women through the internet.

I am excited about the prospect of being involved in such a radical transforming power, as the gospel of Jesus Christ trully is. It is the power to completely change lives, take take shattered pieces and make them whole. May the call back home become a mighty shout no woman of God can ignore.

The busyness of life

The last few weeks have been busy around here. With the approach of daylight savings time, the start of spring and the increase in temperatures my beloved has been in overdrive for us to get finished with all our house decorating. When I arrived last September our entire house needed to be painted. Although Rob had been living in the house for over a year he was waiting for my arrival to begin painting. Before I ever saw the house I thought it would be a few weeks to complete. When I saw how big the house was I knew it would take much longer, just not this long. We are on the home stretch now, with just our own bedroom to paint. Even the garage got painted before our bedroom. After all the delays we looked forward to completion. Then last week a friend asked me to help look after her toddler for a few days, as he couldn't go to daycare. I happily obliged as I enjoyed a change of pace. Needless to say I didn't make any progress in the decorating in those few days. Rather I got to enjoy seeing my home through the eyes of a young boy, and marvel at what a wonderful playground our home is. Carpeted stairs seemed to be the favourite toy, as both days saw hours spent climbing and playing on the stairs. As I remembered back to my own childhood I believe my brother and I also would spend a lot of time playing on the stairs in our home. No need for expensive toys when there is a house to play in.

Then we also had some terrible news last Friday. My husband and I help in our Church bus ministry. We run one of the bus routes for Sunday mornings. My husband is also the AWANA Commander. That is our Wednesday evening children's ministry. I help in by being director of the younger children (Sparkies.) On Friday night we got a call to let us know that one of the children had suddenly died. He was only 12. He had died in his sleep on Thursday/Friday. This boy was on our Sunday morning route and also one of our AWANA boys. He lived with his father, as his mother had left when he was very young. He had only just got saved three weeks ago, and now he is home with the Lord. The funeral is tonight, at the same time as our AWANA group. His family has very little by this world's standards, and do not know the Lord. Our entire Church are wrapping around this family during this difficult time. The family don't even have any money to pay for the funeral. This boy was not one of the popular children. He could be very difficult to love, but he was still important to God. He is in glory now, but there is a shattered family still here to be ministered to. I cannot even begin to imagine what it must feel like to loose a child, never mind to go through it without the comfort of my faith. Yet we will continue to reach out to this family after the funeral is over and the other visitors have gone. The grief will take a long time to process, but we have a hope to offer this family and so it is our duty to continue reaching out to them in the coming months and years.

This week also sees my first Ladies Fellowship at our Church. I am eager to get started in this ministry, but also a little nervous. I have no idea what the ladies are expecting from me, or what previous fellowships have been like. I am launching this ministry with an afternoon tea, so the next few days are going to be busy with lots of baking. Regardless of the trims and expectations though, the important thing for me is to bring a refocus to our ladies. It is time to stop looking for entertainment and start looking for opportunities to serve. I am going to challenge the ladies with the verses from Titus 2 about the older teaching the younger, and being keepers at home. It is a message that is definitely needed here in Florida, where everyone lives such fragmented and isolated lives. Lord willing the message will begin to impact the women in our Church to make a real difference in each others lives as well as reaching outside ourselves to serve too.

Well it's time to close and get a paint brush back in my hands again.

Maturity, how serious are you?

In our Sunday School class recently we have given a great deal of time and attention to the topic of maturity. It has created some interesting discussion for my husband and I at home too. One of our most recent discussions on the topic was particularly interesting to me, and so I decided to share here. How serious are we about maturity, and when is the price too high?

Firstly is the question of how serious we are about growing to full spiritual maturity. Most people would probably say they were serious about it. It is a serious topic afterall. To show a disinterestedness in such a topic would show both an attitude of immaturity and blatant ungodliness. Yet if we are truly honest with ourselves, just how serious are we? Are we serious enough to really make an effort? Are we serious enough to fight the urge to make excuses again this week? Are we serious enough to follow our conscience when the rest of the world grows deaper into ungodliness? Are we serious enough to stand up and be counted when it most matters? If need be, are we serious enough to stand alone in godliness and maturity?

I want to be completely serious about continuing to grow towards maturity. If I am truly honest I've let things slide recently in ways that should make me ashamed. I struggle with really making an effort. This is spiritual warfare, it is not meant to be easy. So some days I have to really commit to this process. It takes real effort to get into God's Word. It takes determination to hide God's Word in my heart. Mostly it takes effort and determination just to overcome my nature, for it is naturally lazy. Each day it is the same battle being fought over again. Yet each time I win it is not because of me, but the Lord in me. I have to learn the fine balance between my effort and the Lord's strength. On days that I fail I have to look at what went wrong, then guard myself from the same mistakes in the future. I must confess though that it can take a while for me to learn to guard an area of my life.

Then there is that wonderful minefield of excuses. We all walk through it from time to time, sometimes from hour to hour. There is always an excuse ready to go off if we want it to. All we have to do is stand on it. "It's too early in the morning, and you know I'm not a morning person." "It's my hormones!" "I just need some coffee first." "I was going to, but I just got distracted." "I forgot." "I didn't have time today." "I'm sorry, but..." Perhaps you have some others that are your favourite excuses. Just this morning I found myself using the "I'm not a morning person" excuse when my beloved husband tried to rush me before I had fully woken up, and I got grumpy. It really doesn't matter if I was still half asleep, and it was really still the middle of the night to me, I should not have been grumpy with him. He needed me to work faster so he could get to the office at a certain time. I should not have had a bad attitude about it. I was going too slow. If I want to grow to maturity I need to leave the excuses out. If I get it wrong I cannot justify it if I am going to apologise for it.

Standing alone, or just plain standing up for what is right, is getting into really serious territory. Yet so few of us are willing to do this. Sure we'll agree when others around us condem ungodliness. We will readily agree on the big topics, like abortion, homosexuality, prostitution, these are wrong. Then we watch sitcoms on TV that glamourise homosexuality, or we agree that it is perfectly alright to limit how many children we have, or we use sex as a reward, or withhold it as a punishment within our marriage. Are these not just as wrong for they come from the same heart attitude.

So are we willing to pay the price of maturity? Is there a price that is too high? How far is too far? Jesus himself said that if our eye causes us to sin we should pluck it out, for it is better to enter the kingdom of God with one eye rather than be cast into hell. Is that too much, too extreme? There are other things which to some may seem just as drastic a measure. The first one on our list was television. We didn't just cut out cable, we cut out all television. We still have the television, but it doesn't receive any signals. Instead we use it only for watching DVD's, and even then we are careful about what we watch. It is easier to guard the contents of a DVD collection, than to guard against inappropriate television programming. We don't watch anything new without getting a recommendation we can trust. We both also found television to be a terrible time waster. We don't have the luxury of hours upon hours of free time every day to spend it passively feeding our minds with ungodliness. Even the "harmless" sitcoms are not so harmless. When was the last time the husband was portrayed at the true head of the home? When are children ever respectful and obedient and still the hero? What about the internet? Is it just as much a time waster as television? I know I have to guard myself from too much time online. The content of what I read is good, but I have to limit my time. Sometimes I even have to set a timer, as I easily loose track of how long I've been online. The internet is a useful tool, but only when properly used. I want to grow in maturity, so I have to be disciplined. For some it may be they have to disconect for a while, like detoxing from an addiction. These are just two of the easiest examples. It could also be things that are seen as good, like books. Do you read "romance" novels, then find yourself discontent with your marriage. Even so called "Christian Romance" can do this. Our husband just isn't as perfect as the hero in the novel. Remember the hero isn't real, your husband is. Reading anything, no matter how good it is, if it takes away from time in God's Word is a distraction that will hold back maturity. I love books, but I found that I would open any book before I would turn to the Word. So I have to guard myself by not allowing myself to read anything until I have spend time that day studying God's Word. If I am serious then I have to be disciplined.

Is there too high a price to be paid for maturity? I don't think so. So far the price has always been outstripped by the rewards. What about you? Is there a price you won't pay for maturity in your life?

Who is my neighbour?

In our Church we are part of a Sunday School class of mostly thirtysomethings. The class chose the name "Homebuilders" when it was first formed just over a year ago. It is a class made up of mostly married couples, with a few single parents who don't fit in any other class. We are a very eclectic mix of people, and most were already adults before they were saved. My husband and I are the only non-parents in our class, at the moment. (We are working on rectifying that one.) Yesterday we had a very interesting discussion about the need to be looking out for each other. We have been looking into the life of the early Churches, as found in Acts, and what they can teach us about how we should be living. The sense of community that was found from the very first day after Pentecost is a very stark contrast to what we have here in South Florida in the 21st Century.

I grew up with a model of community that had more in common with the first century Churches, that with my current experience. Everybody knew their neighbours, not just to say "hello," but really knew them. No house was locked up, except if no-one was home. Everyone shared when they had plenty, and when they had little. Celebrations were joined by everyone. Times of mourning were also community events.

I remember my seventh birthday. A few cousins were visiting for the day and their mum had planned to have a small family celebration of my birthday. That didn't happen. Every child who played with us that day, that is every child in the neighbourhood who was at home, joined us for birthday cake. It is one of my favourite birthday memories. No organised party. No mountain of presents. Just a simple cake and a few extra treats, and lots of friends to help celebrate. It was the late seventies in Scotland, nobody had much of anything, yet we were amongst the wealthiest people in the world because we had each other.

My husband and I now live in a small neighbourhood within a "small town" yet we only know our neighbours to say "hello." It is a new neighbourhood, and Rob was the first person to move in, so everyone is new here. Even in our Church it is proving more difficult to build relationships that I first anticipated. Everyone seems to live in their own little world. There is no time for outside relationships. Yet at the same time, these same people can be heard to complain of feeling alone and isolated. Nobody cares about them. Everyone is too busy. Everybody works. I have moved to the most affluent country in the world, yet the people I meet are the poorest I have ever met when it comes to relationships and community.

Then yesterday our class began to discuss this very issue. We cannot be who we are chosen to be as God's children if we are not reaching out and making a community. We need to make time to build relationships. We need to be in each other's lives throughout the week. We need to know what is happening in each other's lives if we are going to truly be a help and blessing. For me this happens through opening our homes. It is in our homes that we build relationships. It is in our homes we establish community. Opening our homes in hospitality is opening ourselves to other souls. Sometimes we minister to them, but often they minister to us.

Who is my neighbour? Who should I be building community with. For me it is everyone that the Lord brings across my path. It is the members of our Sunday School class. It is the neighbour across the street, who has never heard the gospel. It is the friend across the seas I can offer encouragement to. My neighbour is every person it takes to build a community. I am challenged to step further out into the unknown, to show myself as a neighbour and begin building a new sense of community right here where I live right now.

Keeping My Home

It is February already. This is going to be another busy month. This month will also see me celebrate six months of living here in Florida. The first six months has gone by quicker than I could have imagined. The first year of our marriage seemed to last for eternity while we were separated by an ocean. Now we have been living together as husband and wife long enough to become some what settled in our routines.

As I think about the time we have had together I am thankful. I am also aware that I am not yet all the wife and homemaker I should be. For the last few weeks I've been struggling with fatigue. Rob hasn't noticed much difference in my home keeping, but I have. I am aware that there are days when I have to remind myself to rejoice in washing the tile floors. Doing such a chore means I am here with my husband. We have a home for me to clean. I have the mobility to clean. There is much to rejoice in when washing tile floors. It is my joy and privilege to serve my husband by keeping our home.

So how do I get through the days when I find it difficult to find the energy to finish all that needs doing?

My first strategy, no matter how I feel, is that I have a list. My general weekly list is on the refrigerator door. It is split into the five days that Rob normally works, and the work is split between those days. At the bottom I also put the tasks that are done daily. This is only a list of the tasks that are done every week. We have a large home, and this allows me to pace the regular chores across the week, so everything gets done properly and regularly.

My next strategy is to have projects. I currently have several, all requiring different amounts of physical or mental energy. When my regular chores are done for the day I can then pick a project to work on. At present my projects include: priming and painting the downstairs bathroom; sewing a new church dress; cross-stitching a picture for my mother-in-law's birthday in April; restoring an old steamer trunk Rob inherited from his grandfather and completing the illustrations for a book I am writing for my niece's birthday in March. Some of these projects require physical energy. Some require mental focus. Then a few require less of both for when I am really weary.

Along with chores and projects I am learning I have to guard myself from committing to things outside the home. Before I even arrived my husband and I had committed to my volunteering at our Church school's library. I only go one day a week. It is tempting to increase the time I spend there, as it is a big job to reorganise an entire school library. However we both realise that one day a week is all that I should be doing. Ideally I wouldn't even do that, but we made a commitment and we will see it through for this school year. There are so many needs amongst the women in our Church. I am often tempted to take on more commitments than I should in ministering to these women. However I am learning that good is not the same as best. I am instead trying to be of use from my own home. I am willing to serve in any way the Lord requires of me, but look for ways to serve that don't take me from home. This can range from cooking meals for a family when the mother is sick, to counselling a woman in crisis. It can be opening our home in hospitality for overnight guests, or just for a family meal.

I have always believed that it is the wife's place to keep the home. I have spent thousands of hours since I was a teenager learning how to be a better keeper of the home. The theory was never a problem. The reality is more of a battle that I ever thought it would be. It is a battle against laziness. It is a fight against indifference. It is a war against a society that thinks keeping the home is a waste of my gifts and talents. Yet if anyone would ask my husband he would not hesitate in saying that it is worth every fight, battle and war. It is worth it when he comes home to a clean, neat and peaceful haven. It is worth it for dinner to be waiting on him as he walks in through the door at night. It is worth it when he gets to be greeted by a content and peaceful wife who is always happy to see him.

Keeping my home is the best way I can serve my husband. Keeping my home is essential to serving and glorifying my Lord and Saviour. Keeping my home keeps me at peace. Keeping my home helps me to build contentment in my life. Keeping my home is my work and my pleasure. keeping my home is what it means to be Rob's wife.

I am blessed that I can stay at home to keep our home. I don't have to go out into the world every day. I don't have to spend my life surrounded by messages that breed discontentment and unhappiness. I rejoice that I have a husband who understands and enjoys a wife who stays at home.

Praise God that His ways are always best.

Dealing with emotions

Like the majority of women my life tends to be a roller-coaster of emotions. Yet I know that my emotions are not to be trusted. There are so many things that influence how I feel at any given moment. Some influences are external, like the weather, my relationship with my husband or letters from family back in Scotland. Other influences are internal, like hormones, too little sleep or enough food in my stomach. No matter what is influencing how I feel, it is still my responsibility ow I choose to respond.

One of my big problems is an overdeveloped sense of justice. This will generally cause me to over-react at anything I see as unjust. I had one such experience this week. I took on another person's fight and found myself also taking on their anger. At first I was actually shaking, the feeling was so intense. I knew this was something I could not deal with on my own. Always when I find myself overwhelmed by other people's emotions I know I have to give it back to the Lord.

I go back to the fundamentals I was taught many years ago. I have to understand the aim of my life and the cost involved.

Firstly I am called to holiness.

"But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy." 1 Peter 1:15,16

God is more concerned about my holiness than my happiness. Conflicts in my life can show me which character qualities I am in need of developing.

Secondly I am called to suffer.

"Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God; Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began," 2 Timothy 1:8,9

"For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:" 1 Peter 2:21

The more Godly I seek to be, the more I will endure suffering. The closer I walk with God the more sensitive I become to what is right, and the more I stand out as a target for others.

The I am called to bear fruit.

"Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit." John 15:2

"Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples." John 15:8

The more I respond correctly to suffering the more the Holy Spirit can work in me to produce fruit. In order to bear much fruit, I am purged. Being purged is a painful process. I am no different to anyone else, in that I don't enjoy being purged. Yet it is a vital process for my own growth.

The calling to holiness is something to be taken very seriously. It is connected to being full of the Holy Spirit. Being full of the Holy Spirit is more about how much of me does the Holy Spirit have, rather than me getting more of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit wants me to yield every single area of my life, nothing held back.

I gain this fullness of the Holy Spirit by being tested by the Holy Spirit. I need to anticipate that I will be tested. Trials and testing are what prepares me for my unique ministry. It is a means of the Holy Spirit to give me power and deepen my faith. This reminder of the battle against anger that I received this week has directed me back to precious passages of Scripture that helped me when I first started to battle this issue. I have once again been reminded to subject my emotions to my will, and my will to be surrendered to God's Word.

I need to respond with joyfulness and thankfulness, and with crying out to the Lord.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I am reminded that in overcoming testing I must give thanks in everything.

Why?

It comes from God's hands, and God is good.
God is sovereign (Romans 8:28)
It is ultimately for my good.
It can produce the character of Christ in me.
It teaches me God's ways. (Isaiah 55:8; Psalm 119:71)
If I respond correctly it will bring me peace. (John 14:27)

I need to find reasons to rejoice. (Philippians 4:4)
God can do great things in me when I have an attitude of rejoicing.

I need to quench the firey darts of the enemy.
I need to wear the shield of faith from Ephesians 6:16
I am to take the armour of God and put it on firmly. I take up the shield of faith by quoting God's truth. Therefore I need to spend time in God's Word.

"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" 2 Corinthians 10:5

"Let our conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28


"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13

"So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Romans 10:17

Living God's way is impossible without His strength and aide. Therefore I need to cry out for deliverance.

"And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me." Psalm 50:15

Finally I need to overcome evil with good.

"Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:9

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; "Matthew 5:44

The more I invest in my enemies the more my heart will be turned towards them. In this day and age of hatred this is where true witnessing takes place, by being willing to stand against the flow and love instead of hate.

I have a choice no matter what emotion I am feeling. I have a choice to do things my way, or do things God's way. May I always choose God's way.

Thoughts on the sanctity of life

Yesterday our church had a focus on the sanctity of life, to mark the national Sanctity of Life week here in the States. The very same morning our Sunday School class had a mini baby shower for one of the couples who are expecting their second baby in March. On the surface this would seem like a perfect confirmation that we as Christians are on the right track with this subject. However once my darling husband and I started to discuss the mornings events back at home we grew very disturbed by the very subtle undermining of the value of life that came out during the baby shower.

The first thing that really stood out to me was the materialism involved. I come from a country where we don't do baby showers (or any other kind of gift showers), so I find this concept rather strange anyway. This is going to be a second son for the couple involved, so I was surprised we were having a shower at all. The couple themselves had "registered" for gifts, but only for a few extra items and a few luxury gifts they didn't already have. Once I got over the shock of discovering that you can register for baby gifts I did think they themselves had not been very materialistic. When asked by another person why they had so few items listed and most of them very inexpensive they replied that they already had most of what they needed from their other son. I agree that there is no need to repurchase goods we already have just because we can.

However the first concern was nothing in comparison to the lack of value that was generally given to life. Hearing one mother proclaim that her third child was an "Oops" and that she really only planned to have two broke my heart. I pray that this child never hears their mother describe them in such a way. This does however seem to be an epidemic attitude amongst the couples we know. Children are seen as a burden, not a blessing. The couple having the baby also intend to stop at two. They have already selected a day to have their baby and to get "fixed" at the same time. As I said to Rob the mother is not being fixed, she is being broken when she has that surgery. It is choosing to become voluntarily infertile for no other reason than a lifestyle choice. How that must break the hearts of the women in our class who had no choice about being infertile. How it breaks my heart at such disregard for the way God made us.

Every person in that room yesterday would agree that abortion is wrong. They would say they agreed with the sanctity of life message. Yet their choices are at the thin edge of the wedge that ends in abortion. It is an attitude of children are a burden that allows the next step of murder. It is the attitude of control over fertility that justifies the death of millions of humans every year. Once we start to take over control of our fertility we are reinforcing the arguments of the pro-choice groups. It is a subtle evil that has almost completely taken over in our social circles.

My wonderful husband and I do not have any children yet. We do not even know if we will be able to have children. We have only been living together for five months. Yet before we even got married we agreed that our family size is not our choice. God will decide how many children we have. We know we will have children. We don't know if we will be blessed with any of those children through birth. We do know that at some point we will be blessed by children through adoption. We hold the value of every human life very highly. It is not our place to prevent a child from being born. We hope and pray that we are blessed sometime soon. We trust the Lord that He knows when the best time is.

Neither of us would have chosen to wait until so late in life to get married. Yet we were both willing to trust the Lord in our choice of spouse. The Lord knew when the right time would be to introduce us to each other. Because we met at exactly the right time our relationship was able to blossom into the wonderful marriage we now have. In the same way we completely trust the Lord for our family size. We both long to be parents, but we know that at exactly the right time we will be. We have a heart for each precious child the Lord brings into our home. We look forward to meeting and getting to know each and every child we parent. We hope for a home that is bursting at the seems one day. We would love for a family meal to require more than the ten chairs we have around our table.

The sanctity of life will only be preserved when we all start valuing every human life as the precious blessing it is. When we open our hearts and homes to more than just two, or at a stretch three children, then we can say we believe in the sanctity of life. When we are willing to surrender our fertility to the Lord instead of controlling it ourselves, then we will be able to have a tender heart to all life.

When the life that is and the life that is yet to be are both treasured, then we will have sanctity of life.