Busy and Exhausted

I can't believe we're in October already. I also can hardly believe it's been over two weeks since I posted. Life has been pretty busy here, with school runs, homework, sports and all of us trying to adjust to this new lifestyle.

It's Monday morning and I'm already exhausted. One of the boys decided he wasn't tired enough to go to bed last night (after sleep ALL afternoon) and I ended up having to chase him to bed after 11pm last night. Then I get to be up at 5:30am this morning, while he didn't drag himself out of bed until 7:15am, when we leave the house at 7:40am. I have all day to think of a suitable means of enforcing discipline for this. It's the third Sunday on a row this has happened. My dearest husband and I had already agreed that this week we wouldn't let them sleep at all Sunday afternoon, then my beloved decided it wasn't a big deal and let them sleep. It's not a big deal to him, as he's not the one who gets to stay up to make sure they go to bed, and he's not the one that has to get them up, make their packed lunch, make breakfast and then drive them to school. I won't take another Sunday night/Monday morning like this again. I need at least eight full hours of sleep at night, and I haven't got that since the boys moved in.

We've also been working ourselves to death to help them with their homework. Well last week I spoke to the English teacher of the same boy mentioned above. She said she would be happy to tutor him on Monday's after school, so he was told to ask her to start today. He "forgot." So this morning I reminded him again to ask his teacher to start the extra tuition. If he doesn't do it today I'm not going to be reminding him again. I am also not going to be helping him with the homework either until he starts putting in more effort.

We've certainly stepped into parenting by the most difficult route possible. One thing we have learned though is that we are most definitely going to be homeschooling our own children.

Driving, Sickness and the joy of parenthood

Another week and another adventure or two.

On Monday I took my driving test, and passed. So I am now allowed out on my own in the car. Of course this also means I get to do the school run every day, twice a day. The boys were thrilled as they thought that means they get to leave later to go to school. They were wrong. I did have to threaten them with walking to school to get them out Tuesday morning. More threats yesterday morning, so I decided to change tactics. Last night they were informed that for every minute they keep me waiting to leave past 7:40am I will wake them up 10 minutes earlier the following morning. It worked. This morning we were actually pulling out of the garage at 7:38am, two whole minutes early.

I was just getting ready for my 2nd graders library visit this morning when one of my boys arrived at the library. He has a migraine. It's his third one in 2 weeks, so I decided he needed to come home and go to bed. I cancelled today's library sessions with the elementary classes and brought him home. He has a family history of migraines, and given how much stress he has been under since he got here, along with all the sports practice and faster pace of life here, I'm not surprised it has finally caught up with him. A day in bed sleeping and resting should have him back on his feet by tomorrow.

Best part is I get an unexpected day off. I'm caught up with chores as I didn't think I'd be home today, and dinner is already in the crock pot. I might even get some time to work on some craft projects today.

Life with teenagers

As we near the end of our second week with our boys I have to say, parenting teenagers is very different to anything I have ever done before. They are funny, energetic, hardworking, and driving me crazy on a regular basis. Just getting them out for school in the morning has been challenging. Firstly they have never had to get up as early as we make them get up in the morning. Neither of them are morning people, and I can relate to that, so it makes mornings a challenge for all three of us. Then there is the difference between Carribean time and American time, a challenge all to itself. Thursday mornings at present are the biggest trial of this nature, as I volunteer at the school library, so my darling husband has to bring us all to the school. This also requires him to go to work later than he usually does, as he is normally at work before the boys are even awake. We aim to leave at 7am, so my beloved can be in the office by 8am, but it just isn't happening. This morning it was 7:20am before we left, and it started to rain really hard about 7:15am, so we all got soaked just getting into the car, and then we were late on top of that.

I know that moving here to go to High School is a big adjustment for our boys, and I am so proud of them for all the effort they are making. They are 15 years old and that explains a lot of their behaviour in and of itself. They are having to adjust to living with a couple they don't know, and who do things differently than their own parents do. They are having to adjust to a completely different school system, and learning ethic. They have sports practise almost every day, including Saturdays, and most nights several hours of homework. They have a lot of catching up to do to get their grades up to a level where they can stay on the sports teams. Yet they never complain about any of it. Regardless of the pressure from back home to succeed they keep smiling and laughing, and keeping my husband and I entertained.

I may have jumped in at the deep end taking on two boys in their mid-teen years, but I am loving being mum to them. Despite having to get up earlier to get them up, and staying up later to make sure they go to bed when they have been told to, I am enjoying this. It is hard work. It is exhausting. It is also rewarding, and entertaining. Instead of the quiet peaceful atmosphere we are used to, we now have noise, video games, chaos and lots of laughter. It is stretching me, forcing me to not hold onto the control so tightly. It is teaching me daily how to lay down my life in ways I never realised I needed to.

Life with teenagers is certainly a challege, but one I am very glad to rise up to. Now that we have them I wouldn't want to change it for anything.

New Direction for our family

We’re just a few days back from Hawaii for our anniversary/vacation. At times it is difficult to believe that it has been two years already since I became Rob’s wife. The first year was marked by separation, the second by constant flux. The third year looks like it is also going to be an interesting one. Two weeks ago we agreed to become the host parents to two boys who will be attending our church school this coming academic year.

We knew the school was beginning to take overseas students, and an appeal for host families had been made at the beginning of the summer. At that point we were not in a position to get involved. I was pregnant and due half way through the school year. When a second appeal went out a little under two weeks ago we were again in a position where we could not volunteer. We spoke about possibly volunteering in future years, but I was waiting to find out if we had managed to get pregnant after our miscarriage, and my sister-in-law was due for brain surgery to remove a tumour and I may have been needed back home in Scotland.

Then on Thursday two weeks ago I tested negative for pregnancy. My sister-in-law had responded so well to surgery that she was being released from hospital the next day. That afternoon I got a call from the school. We were being asked directly if we would consider taking one of the students. Rob was at work, and I didn’t want to disturb him, so I asked for time for us to discuss it and we would get back to them. All afternoon I thought and prayed about it. The timing and direct approach cut through my previous reasons for declining. After Rob got home we discussed it and decided that with some more information it would be a definite possibility. We called back and said that our answer was provisionally a yes. During the conversation we were then asked if we would consider taking two students. Someone had pulled out earlier that week leaving two boys without a place to stay. We have two empty bedrooms, and two would be company for each other, so why not.
The first of our new “sons” arrived on the Sunday. He was accompanied by his mum, aunt and uncle. We invited them all back to ours for lunch, as we already had a friend coming over for lunch. We had a great time of fellowship and mum was comforted to know that her “baby” would be living in a good Christian home. We met our other “son” when we got back from vacation.

A bonus of this move is that it forced us to purchase a car. With four of us at home just having the two person pick-up truck was no longer adequate for our needs. On our way to church on the Sunday morning before our vacation we saw a car for sale at the side of the road. It was parked off the road, but not as part of any home. We went back later and looked it over. It was perfect for what we needed and a price we were willing to pay. Rob took it for a test drive Sunday, and after a trip to the bank on Monday the car was ours Monday evening. I’ll be taking my driving test to get my full license in a couple of weeks and finally I’ll be fully mobile. I’ll be on the school run at that point, but it does feel good to know I’ll finally be able to get out on visitation during the day while Rob is at work.

So we had one last week of just the two of us before embarking on the adventure of parenting teenagers. It will be another interesting year for our unconventional journey, but one I am looking forward to with eager anticipation.

Surgery results

Just a quick note to thank everyone who prayed for my sister-in-law. Her surgery went well this morning. She is back on the ward and sitting up talking. She even telephoned the children to find out how first day of school went.

It will be 5 days before they get the biopsy results for the tumour, but so far it looks good. It looks like I may not have to head home after all.

Praise the Lord for His mercies.

Urgent prayer request to all my blog friends

Please pray for my sister-in-law Karen. Yesterday she was diagnosed with a brain tumour. She has to have another scan today, and then probably surgery. Karen and my brother Steven have two little ones. Christopher is five and starts school on Monday, without mum. Caitlin is 2 and doesn't really understand what is going on. My mum is looking after the children while my brother goes between the hospital and his work.

Karen has been having severe headaches for months. She saw a neurologist a couple of months ago who diagnosed her with cluster migraines. My brother had to call out a doctor several times over this last week because of the pain she was in, so yesterday he finally sent her for a scan. Next thing they knew she was transferred to a hospital in Glasgow, to the surgical ward. We don't know just how serious it is yet.

It is times like this that can really show how far away I am from my family. Modern technology usually makes 5000 miles not seem like very much, but this morning it seems a very long way away.

Please pray for Karen, Steven and the children. None of them know the Lord and I can't imagine how difficult it is to deal with this without faith. Pray for my mum, for strength as she looks after the children and supports my brother. Pray for wisdom for the surgeons and medical team looking after Karen.

Thank you

Lyn

Post Op Appointment!!!!!

I had my post-op appointment today for the D&C two weeks ago. I don't know if I am more disappointed or angry. My darling husband had to take most of the afternoon off work to take me to the doctor's office. (I'm still on a learner's permit for driving and we only have one vehicle anyway, and he works a 40 min drive from where we live.)

The whole thing was a total waste of time. I got to the office and as I check in I am informed that the doctor has gone home to stay off her feet as she is pregnant and I will be seen by the nurse practitioner instead. The receptionist also processes a co-pay as she doesn't realise it is a post-op appointment. DH leaves me in the waiting room so he can go and vote in the State Senate Election that is going on today. After about 10 minutes I'm taken to a consultation room. When the NP comes in she obviously hasn't even read my file yet. She asks me how I'm doing and then proceeds to give me a lecture about not getting pregnant again straight away. She also notices that there is no pap smear results on my file (the file is 2 weeks old!) and asks me when my last one was. I inform her I've never had one and that the miscarriage was my first contact with a doctor since arriving in America. She tells me I need a Well Woman Check where they will order a mammogram, pap smear and check my cervix to make sure it is recovering correctly and it should be done in four weeks time. She then takes me back to reception to make another appointment for four weeks time. The receptionist then asks her what they are billing this visit as. Another nurse overhears and informs them both that this is a post-op appointment. The receptionist then realises that there should not have been a co-pay for this and has to refund the money.

I was under the impression that the post-op appointment was important because that was when they would check to make sure everything was returning to normal. I never even got my blood pressure taken, never mind a physical exam or hormone levels checked, nor did she do anything to check that there was no undetected infection. I asked if I should be concerned about anything and all I was told was don't get pregnant again until after we have checked everything at the next appointment. I was in total shock as I left that nothing was actually done at this appointment, other than to make another appointment. I won't be going, and I certainly won't be asking my husband to take anymore time off work to take me anywhere near that doctor's office again.

Now I am over the shock and beginning to feel angry. Everything I know about what has happened to me over these last few weeks I have found out by doing my own research. I have never had anything explained or told what to expect next. As I have been thinking about this tonight I realise I shouldn't be surprised. The doctor didn't even speak to me in recovery. She spoke to my husband immediately after the procedure, but she never came and spoke to me in the few hours I was still in the hospital recovering.

Well my rant is over. Hopefully I can get some sleep now. I do know I will be staying as far away from doctors as I possibly can for as long as I can. The health service doesn't seem to be about medical care, just about making money.