The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Why I stay at home
I realize that in the society I have chosen to live in I am very much in a minority. I do not personally know any other women who have made the choice to stay at home unless it involves children. Before I even arrived in America my husband and I had several discussions on the subject of me working outside the home. Since arrival we have again had the same discussion a few times. The immigration process took much longer and cost a lot more than either of us realized at the beginning. Economically it would make more sense for me to find a job until we become parents (if we ever do.) Yet we both continue to hold that the right thing for me to do is to stay at home.
This is not a decision we have taken lightly. Like I have already mentioned it would be better for us financially right now if I had a paying job. However we firmly believe it is God's will that I stay at home. Throughout scripture it is made plain that God's plan for women is to stay at home. The book of Proverbs in particular has much to say about the woman who does not stay at home, and none of it is flattering. Rather as instructed in Titus 2:5 we should be "keepers at home," which means being content at home as much as practically possible. The home is my realm of influence. The home is where I can best serve my husband, and my Lord. Staying at home is a positive choice. It frees me to serve, and it empowers me to make a difference in the lives of other people.
Choosing to stay at home also entails some other choices. We choose to only have one vehicle. We choose to enjoy what we have instead of constantly looking for new and better. We choose to have freshly cooked meals every day. There is no need for expensive and unhealthy convenience food when I am at home to prepare meals that taste good and contain less salt and sugar than processed food. My husband gets to come home every day to a clean house where there are no chores for him to do. He enjoys my staying at home as much as I do.
Every woman who wants to do God's will can make the move to stay at home, if she really wants to. We each have a choice to make. We can compete and strive out in the world, just like everyone else. Or we can choose the peace and contentment of home. It is a simple choice, but not an easy one. Many don't understand why any woman would not work, some even think we are lazy for wanting to stay at home. If you have worked outside the home it is a financial sacrifice. There probably won't be the regularly changing new cars, or the exotic vacations. There probably won't be regular meals out at nice restaurants, or days out shopping at the mall. Instead there is learning contentment with what you already have. There will be time to make it yourself instead of buying ready made. There will be time to think of ways to romance your husband at home. There is time to not feel tired and stressed all the time, which is the one thing I hear most often from the women around me.
While I know I don't have it all figured out yet. I have always worked before. I started working delivering newspapers when I was 10 years old, and I pretty much always worked right up until I made the move to Florida four months ago. Sometimes I worked and studied, and sometimes I worked two jobs. Since leaving home at 18 I had to work to support myself, and living alone I also had a home to keep. This is certainly the largest home I've ever had, and it requires a lot of cleaning. We are also still in the process of painting walls and general decorating. I sewed all our curtains by hand and am in the process of recycling old picture frames to contain some of the artwork that will adorn our walls. My days are full and busy. Yet the same comment is made by all those who enter our home. There is a wonderful sense of peace in our home. It is a peace that we work hard to maintain. It is a peace that comes from contentment with what we have. It is a peace that is nurtured by us both centering everything we do on God. It is a peace neither of us want to loose.
Staying at home is a choice. It is a choice I am glad my husband and I have made.